Dancing on the Rings of Saturn

Misadventures of a Dreamer

2011-04-30T21:13:00.001+02:00

It's been a while since I had shared my first experience of the arranged marriage circuit, and I have only grown wiser since then. Mind you, not older - I have decided to remain the beautifully optimistic age of 22 until I resemble that spunky old lady in Madagascar (the movie, not the country).

I have met other EBs (Eligible Bachelors, for the uninitiated) and although the encounters have not resulted in murder, I have become acquainted with the fact that I can experience blood-boiling, face-reddening rage and still speak as calmly as if commenting on the weather. Besides the point that these encounters would not have been very encouraging to my ever-plodding heart, I have learnt many "life's lessons", which I will freely share ;) with girls who can empathise with me:
1. Do not take shit from a stranger. That is definitely not the right time to be polite or to be stunned into silence.
2. It's not in your best interests to watch a Disney movie at this phase of life. :) Those just raise your expectations before painful reality strikes.
3. It's alright to be a little demanding, but be considerate and be real.
4. It's fine to not let first impressions be the last ones - the EB is as nervous / awkward / disillusioned as you are.
5. There are times when you may realise some aspect about yourself which isn't what Mother Teresa would have approved of - but even then, it's ok. You are normal, after all.
6. This would be the most personal decision of your life, but you may still have to seek advise from family and friends, sometimes.
7. Laugh about your weird experiences with friends while keeping identities of the other (more often than not, psycho) parties confidential - it'll help keep it all real.
8. Spend some time by yourself.
9. Go out and enjoy. Continue living your life the way you want to. Nothing and nobody should change that.
10. And finally, you are not the only one who has faced this - Never succumb to the overwhelming despair of "Why me?"

Seene mein jalan, aankhon mein toofan sa kyun hai

2011-04-13T10:23:00.000+02:00

This song came to my mind today while reading news reports of two women rescued from self-imposed solitary confinement. While that story took a sordid turn with one of them succumbing, I had to admit the irony of our modern lives. Inspite of each of us being virtually connected to a huge bunch of people, how many of them do we really 'know' as friends? In a land where just a few days ago, social media was instrumental in getting people together for a cause, some people are withering away unnoticed in a little nook. With ways and means to communicate better, are we forgetting the basics of showing that we care without using those words explicitly? The amount of "space" given to another person has to be judged constantly if you really care. I don't mean that you stalk a person, but if your acquaintance/friend hasn't been seen or been in touch, and this is unnatural behaviour, please lay your ego aside and reach out. You might just be the straw that they were grasping at.

I have seen how my parents connect with people they come across in their lives - house-helps, the laundry guy, neighbours. Even without formal studies, most people are aware about how loneliness can affect people, how the thought that "no one would be interested" can mushroom into complicated psychological behaviour and depression, which then can have repercussions on not only the individual, but also on the society. Yet, I confess, that I barely make the effort. However, I am going to try and remedy this aspect about me. How about you? Go on and say hello to your neighbour.

Translation of the amazing song by Akhlaq Mohammed Khan 'Shahryar':

Fire in the chest, storm in the eyes; why is it like that?
In this city, every person is distressed; why is it like that?

If there's a heart, one will have to search for an excuse for it to beat
Otherwise, it is left lifeless like a stone; why is it like that?

What abode of loneliness is this, friends?
Why is there only desert as far as the eye can see?

Is there something new noticeable within me?
Why is the mirror shocked upon seeing me?

Sleepless

2011-03-26T22:55:00.001+01:00

Yes, it's 3 am... and it feels like i have had filter coffee. I don't know why I have these bouts of insomnia but while I am at it, I decided to blog - for once. Since it is the best time for disjointed thoughts to waltz in the limelight before fading away for ever, here goes an attempt to just pen them down as they come:
1. Bollywood hasn't gotten too far from 'chutki bhar sindoor' to 'sau gram zindagi'... wonder what's the deal here...
2. Mosquitoes are never safer anywhere else than between my palms.
3. It's interesting to see "Donny Duck" and "Minna Mouse" make an entry into the life of a 2 year old. The joys of animation will never cease!
4. How do people manage to stay detached from things? I think life is just too vibrant for that kind of an emotion to linger.
5. OELD refers to pronunciation of words in a British accent as "English" and in an American accent as "American". So there!
6. What has happened to the lyrics of Bollywood songs these days? Some kind of a colloquial implosion has taken place in Bollywood?
7. Some days are made to do nothing at all.
8. Some times distances can be good. But just try telling it to people in Mumbai at your own risk.
9. 3:30 am is actually a very happening time.
10. Sometimes arranging a cupboard is just that. Stop psycho-analysing me!

What NOT to do when you meet a girl arranged-marriage ishtyle

2010-10-09T16:14:00.004+02:00

True to their promise, my parents got me to correspond with and meet someone thought to be an eligible bachelor (EB). So, now that I am over the trauma of that experience, I can perhaps share my worldly advise (heheh) with all EBs on how to impress a girl with things they should NOT do while creating the crucial first impression.

1. Do not be clingy - texting the girl every few minutes to locate her coordinates might only scare her a bit instead of showing her how much you care (as I am sure the intentions are so). Do remember that until yesterday, you were strangers.
2. Do not assume she's going to meet a boyfriend if she's making an impulsive trip to visit friends in a nearby town / city. That really does not go down well with most girls I know.
3. When you are trying to fix a place to meet over coffee, do not be ruthless and make the girl travel half-way across the city to meet you at your convenient location, after office, on a week-day. Life would be more pleasant if you could contrive to meet on weekends if you can't compromise on the location.
4. If you both have agreed to a location and time, please try to make it to the place on-time, if not earlier. Texting the girl every once in a while that you would be there in two minutes or five, is not fair when you end up making her wait for forty minutes!
5. Even if you are getting late due to unavoidable reasons and you don't know when you'll get free to make it to the appointment, reschedule! - She would much rather prefer that to waiting in a public place indefinitely.
6. Please do not ask her to order something for you while she's waiting. THAT is the height of insolence. Really.
7. When you finally make an appearance, you could still save the situation by apologising, you know. Realising after 5 minutes that the girl is inwardly fuming which makes it an effort for her to even talk to you politely, and only then apologising doesn't cut it.
8. Since you were the one who were late, be a little considerate and allow the girl some space to vent her spleen. Enquiring if her job pays her well enough to cover her EMI of the education loan does not make for coffee-table conversation in such a situation.

There were many other instances that could make for good advice, but I'll abstain since you would have no doubt realised that I am a highly biased party and might reject my advice as commonplace rants. Anyway, the experience was something you can classify as "It will only get better from here" - leaving our whole family much wiser. "Due diligence" has reached another level in this respect. :P Now to see what the future unfolds...

Yet another destination

2010-06-05T21:59:00.002+02:00

After two months of shuttling endlessly between three cities and two weeks of shuttling endlessly between government offices, I can now say that my relocation to Mumbai is complete. :) I never realised how much I missed staying close to my family. Now before you dismiss me as an Italian mafiaso, let me explain that I am enjoying the pampering and attention from my family after seven long years, which I spent doing all kinds of things according to my credo - "Try everything once".

The realisation of how much time I was spending with my sister's kids hit me when I was setting my cupboard while humming their nursery rhymes and, for the life of me, couldn't remember any of my favorite songs. Deep thought yielded the long-forgotten song from Saajan - "Mera dil bhi kitna paagal hai". Very apt song for the occasion, but I decided to remedy the situation with dollops of U2 once I got the room to myself.

Once that little panic attack was sorted out, I looked to go shopping. After transferring all my worldly belongings from Bangalore, I needed stuff to beautify my home (A girl can always justify her shopping sprees). It was then that I began missing my Bengaluru. Stepping out in Mumbai turns on a faucet of pure unadulterated sweat. Little kids (who usually always stare at me, I don't know why) now found another excuse to feed their saucer eyes.

Anyway, it rained in Mumbai 4 days ago and has rained thrice since then - but only in the dead of the night. It's as if the rain gods are planning something naughty and want to tiptoe their way into Mumbai. Whatever their agenda, I'm happy as long as it rains.

For now, my life figures on two searches - job search (now that I am here) and guy search (again, now that I am here). While the former is under my sub judice, the latter belongs to my parents, who seem relieved to finally have me where they wanted me. To paraphrase them - "Muahahaha".

Although I have quite some bit to write about, I am now going to take a break and browse through some templates. It's about time for a change.

Friendships

2010-04-11T17:45:00.003+02:00

Remember the ease with which you made friends when you were in school? From sharing a crayon to eating together in the lunch break - it was relatively easier to trust people at that age. And any relationship established at that age has a higher chance of going on until ever. Those friends see you grow and change, while they change themselves. But the feeling of trust never changes.

Then you grow up and go to college where you are bombarded with peer pressure and meet various kinds of people from different backgrounds. College makes you grow up, to an extent - whether it is facing the reality that you aren't really as good as you thought at your field of excellence or grappling with crushes and heartbreaks. It is then that you start choosing people you want to get close to because, obviously, you don't want to be friends with people who would utilise the potential they have to hurt you.

Once you start working, though, it is very difficult to find people with whom you can connect at the same level. Professional relationships demand a certain distance. So, although you find lots and lots of interesting people, you don't really enjoy the same level of comfort as with your childhood friends. Sure, they keep in touch and share your special occasions, but you still call your "real" friends at 4 in the mornings when you really need help.

At such a point in life, if you get to experience campus life again, don't miss it. :) At the risk of sounding clichéd, the rigour and proximity that campus life affords you will help you make bonds that you would have thought you weren't capable of anymore. The amazing part is that you are so self-assured by now that you don't really compete with these people who are as accomplished, if not more, as you. And it's surprising how these friendships just continue growing even after you leave campus. These people and relationships are the ones you actually take away from campus.

Although I might sometimes crib a lot about my ISB experience, there is one thing I am glad I have after this year. I have a few very awesome friends.

Still Impulsive, Still Alive

2010-02-22T17:21:00.003+01:00

I just spent a awesome vacation in Dandeli :) (If you want details, go here). This was the first time I travelled as a tourist after coming back home last year - and it was so liberating! Especially the way, it happened. So, on Thursday, I was supposed to leave from campus with my friends but since I am still in the placement process, I decided not to join them. After they piled into a cab and left, I was counseled by various people trying to help me get over the disappointment (I love you guys :) ). So, by nightfall, I was all charged up with the resolve to not leave campus without a job.

Friday arrived and it was a long dry disappointing day with respect to the placement scene. One of my college friends (not on campus) actually researched the way I could reach Dandeli if I left on Friday and sent me the details by mail with the subject line directing me to open it only after I am free on Friday. So, at 2 pm, when I got back home, I saw this mail and made a million phone calls - to confirm if the weekend was free, to ask opinions and to book tickets! I tossed stuff into my suitcase and left Hyd to reach Goa by 8 pm. I reached Dandeli after a 3 hour drive through the forests and ghat region - I even saw a wild boar right in front of our cab, who very reluctantly gave way to the strange metallic contraption on wheels.

The bright starlit skies, word game, the roar of river water as it navigated through rocks, nice balmy evenings, natural jacuzzi and slacks/shorts mishaps ;) , games of Uno, sleeper class travel in good old Indian trains, kayaking, fishing - memories are made of such good stuff. Besides, I feel rejuvenated and alive after this trip. It was totally worth it. Now, to tackle the last term on campus...

PS: Stole this gem from the status message of a friend -
Oh, innocent victims of Cupid,
Remember this little verse;
To let a fool kiss you is stupid,
To let a kiss fool you is worse.

So what do you do...

2009-12-25T22:31:00.003+01:00

... when you seem to be enjoying everything life is giving you, but that one thing you want so desperately is no where in sight?
... when people close to you are happy and you are happy for them, but you just want to shut yourself up in a room and never come out?
... when your innate sense to protect yourself makes you laugh on the outside, when you would rather just cry?
... when the fine line between solitude and loneliness fades ever so often?
... when a nice honest-to-God tantrum can probably set things right?
... when little failures seem huge and thoughts spin out of control?
... when you know that your troubles are not troubles at all, but the tears won't stop?
... when you sleep half the day away, and the only regret you have when you wake up is that you had to wake up?
... when you can't find words to express yourself and any attempt to do so only makes a mockery of you?
... when you know you are being petty and pathetic, but you can't find a way out of that vicious circle of thoughts?
... when you realise that no one can probably feel what you're feeling and you know that you are now old enough to figure it out by yourself... but can't?

Poetic thoughts during class hours

2009-09-29T23:57:00.001+02:00

Going about her day,
Her life on track - a myriad of all shapes,
She thinks about the only missing piece
And a little sigh escapes.

Somewhere in the world, momentarily confused,
He pauses in his life.

And I screamed!

2009-07-07T11:26:00.006+02:00

The people who know me, know me as a particularly non-squeamish person. I don't get scared (enough) watching a horror movie. I don't cry during movies (except for Taare Zameen Par or other similar stories with kids in it). However, it might come as a surprise to you all that after landing at ISB, I have throatily vented my emotions atleast thrice already - each time incited by a different kind of wildlife.
The first occasion was when I paid my respects to a lowly fat rat. Both rat and the security personnel walking behind me got the scare of their lives as they scampered to their own safe places, leaving me deserted and looking very foolish.
Then, it was when Chandni killed a common cockroach and was threatening to place the lifeless form on me. In fact, it was amusing to see how roles reversed in those few minutes. While the cockroach was alive, it and I were calm and composed, respecting each other's private space. Then, Chandni saw it and all hell broke loose. Chronologically, the cockroach then paid the ultimate sacrifice followed by Chandni's threats and my helpless screams.
The most recent time was this afternoon when I saw an ant-eater. We were returning from a conference and I was sitting in the front passenger's seat of the cab when I saw this huge iguana-like creature majestically strolling across the road. I mutely pointed at it and the driver, in a state of panic or sadism, turned the wheel towards it. When I realised the fate rushing towards the ant-eater, I screamed. Yet again. This time, I alarmed the driver and the other two passengers sitting behind. Anyway, long story shot - ant-eater ambled slowly to safety while the driver kept assuring me that the car wouldn't have harmed it anyway because it is a tough animal... This would probably be another take-away for me - the ability to express myself when faced with my fears ;)

One of the most interesting outcomes of working or living in a high-pressure situation is getting to observe people and behaviour at uncomfortably close quarters. There are some who get bogged down by the facade and withdraw into themselves, while some get more aggressive and offensive. And then there are those, who try hard at being what they are and barely managing to stay within the limits of sanity. Particularly amusing are the knee-jerk reactions to spam mails during exam times. Somehow, people manage to ignore the multitudes of mails hitting them throughout the term. And then, it is suddenly end of term and a hapless individual decides to send an otherwise-politically-incorrect joke to the whole student community and pays for it dearly, when a whole thread of mails is spawned with some people on either sides of the line. I am guessing that this focus of attention was rivalled only by the last term's debate of dunking vs swimming pool hygiene. (No - Don't ask!)
The author herself is not free of faults. :P My constant rants are now finding another creative outlet. A friend and I have launched a comic strip on campus which scores high on context and sarcasm. More on that, later. For now, I must begin to pretend to study. I have my end-terms on Monday. Au revoir!

Pause

2009-05-18T20:46:00.003+02:00

Our life's too busy
With lots happening.
The pace promises
to never keep slackening.

Commitments to keep,
Loads to read.
And then aim to emulate
examples who lead.

Pop-quizzes and exams
with alarming regularity.
Meetings and sessions you attend
Hoping for some clarity.

Career, job options, dream jobs.
And then a nagging worry of the loan.
Jamming sessions, high on 'spirits'.
Followed by bright sunny mornings when you moan.

Words of wisdom passed along.
"Introspect", "Identify", "Do what you like".
A mad rush to do everything you can.
Anything - to get that "spike".

Forgotten the real reasons,
That essay written with conviction; that clause.
Struggling to keep up like Superman.
Ultimately losing out on the cause.

Pause.

Lots to write in...

2009-05-13T18:52:00.005+02:00

I have my mid-terms right around the corner. So, it should come as no surprise at all that I am blogging now, of all times. ;)

Term 1 is half-way through and yesterday, we thanked and bade goodbye to two of our Professors - Prof Piyush Kumar (Marketing Management) and Prof Mudit Kapoor (Managerial Economics). Each of them had their respective fan following in class. While in marketing class, I benefited from the vast industrial knowledge of all participants, the way Micro-economics was dealt with was just awesome - with all jigsaw pieces falling into place by the time the lectures were done. There's just so much I am learning each day that if I were a cartoon, my head would have blown a bit out of proportion each day. This is true of all people around me, as well. Of course, on the downside, I not only get to hear all geeky jokes (centering around the new learning from Statistics, etc), but now I understand them as well! Oh, the pain! ;)

We had a Kodak case (mktg) to be discussed over the last weekend. Enough has been said about that "experience", already (if you are reading the other blogs from my class). I know of study groups spending a good part of the weekend tearing their hair out trying to figure out if the stated strategy was really worth a shot or not. I had stepped out on Sunday evening for a short walk and right outside my block, a disembodied voice floated down to me from one of the studio apartments - "So are you saying that the Kodak customers will not move away to competition???!!!" I hurried away to save myself (from unintentionally overhearing the line of argument of another group... what were YOU thinking?)

As for my group, welllll... :D We met twice, for a maximum of 2 hours each. The first time, we decided on a line of thought. The second time, we decided on another and stuck with it - just as well, that we didn't meet again! Submitting the case write-up was a close call. We submitted at 11:56 am for a 12 noon deadline! I know that I am an incorrigible procrastinator and had hoped to find encouraging study group mates to change this one thing about me, but going by the record, I am now beginning to worry. ;)

Last week, most of us had the CAS (Career Advancement Services) photo-shoot. Apart from requiring each of us to "suit up", it also showed how well a job people do cleaning up. Guys got their overdue hair-cuts and groomed themselves well - some were even unrecognizable after all the effort. Girls - they always look good. :D Most of our social networking sites have proud pictures of us strutting our stuff. :P Jokes apart, we all look very impressive.

Section G is waking up to the fact that none of us wants to run for GSB (Graduate Student Board) President, while some sections have 4-5 aspirants each. This, oddly, makes me quite fond of my section. :) Since the very beginning, we have had a bindaas (chilled-out) attitude about competition. I don't mean to say that we are not competitive (quite the opposite, in fact), but we would rather have fun without the tension to "perform" to create an impression. Of course, the attitude also means that it was not until recently that there were some murmurs about the section code of conduct. Things haven't been finalized on that front and hence, I won't be writing about it yet.

J (my Swiss friend mentioned in previous posts) came to visit me this week with a friend of his. He was going back to Geneva in a few days and since he was flying from Hyderabad, he came over to ISB to meet me. It was really nice speaking to him after so long. We spent most of the time reminiscing and then a lot of time talking about school. He tested my French and was pretty impressed that I remember most of it. I really hope I don't lose touch with that language by the time this year ends.

I will now get back to Micro-economics. I should finish a substantial part of the "portions" before I sleep - and I am yet to begin this subject.

Song of the day: Silent Lucidity by Queensryche

Time to reflect

2009-04-29T17:08:00.006+02:00

First week of term 1 is almost over. And there are some words and phrases that I have encountered so many times already, I could scream if I heard them again. In decreasing order of irritants along with the common usage or comments, we have the following non-exhaustive list:
1. traction - "There was not enough traction between the 2 communities"
2. logistics - "We will have to work out the logistics", or "I propose we get into the logistics of it later"
3. it depends - This is the safest and most acceptable answer in a B-school. You can use it whenever you don't know the exact answer to the question being posed to you, or if you want to buy time to arrange a seemingly intelligent answer if you are caught the instant your mind had started wandering in class.
4. networking - A much abused innocent word. It also carries the onus of being THE reason for many people to be in a B-school. What many don't realise is that to network you don't really have to work too hard; you don't have to make fake conversation; you don't have to appear to be someone you are not; you don't have to create a record of sorts by remembering as many names as you can in as less a time as possible - you only have to be genuine. Your smile should say that you are indeed glad to see someone. You are a part of their joys / birthday dunkings / sufferings (hopefully not much of these) because you really want to share a part of their lives. Being polite, kind and nice to people around you will win you the much coveted "network" by itself.

Since the last time I wrote, the swimming pool and its various nocturnal inhabitants have witnessed many more dunkings - birthdays, CPs and the works. Let me explain CP for my readers who are from the normal world outside - it means Class Participation. Certain courses, in order to encourage CP, provide incentives like grades associated to it. Unfortunately, this translates to a lot of Arbit CP, Desperate CP and you get the picture. In the true spirit of fairness, we dunk the people charged with A-CP.

Just one more thought with respect to CP - One is not always right or wrong. Sometimes, people have a different perspective. It is just the way they are. Instead of listening to them patiently and opening our own minds to various possibilities, we tend to smirk or even ridicule them. To clarify my stand, I am not speaking in favour of A-CP (those guys deserve to be dunked) - I am just hoping that we, as a community, learn to appreciate a different perspective without appearing condescending or as insufferable know-it-alls. We have, after all, come here to "learn".

Moving on, with respect to birthday dunkings, I was wondering why normal friends and acquaintances (who are not study-group members or quaddies) do not include themselves in the ritual. It is not owned exclusively by a section, is it? Last night, I knew all the 3 guys being dunked by various sections on their birthdays. Rightfully, in an ideal world, I should have had my share of all 3 cakes! ;)

According to a behavioral survey conducted in a class last week, I am a strong "reflector". This information was thrown your way to justify the tangents I tend to go off into.

And before I leave to prepare for my Stats quiz tomorrow, I really have to record for posterity something that happened in class today. 5 minutes into the start of the session for Micro-Economics, while the professor was introducing a very important and significant model, our class was startled by a loud crash. Turned out that one of us had actually toppled over backwards from his chair! He claimed he was leaning too far back - exactly how comfortable was he trying to get? :P

Change is the law of life

2009-04-26T16:42:00.002+02:00

That is my fortune of the day on Orkut. It never sounded more relevant. After having indulged myself by sleeping the whole weekend away, tomorrow is the change I have been looking forward to since quite some time.

After days of relocation and the perpetual feeling of "floating" around quite aimlessly; after investing time and effort in knowing people around me and observing social behaviour (my favourite occupation off-late); after desperately trying to get to terms with the changes in my life - tomorrow, term 1 begins.

The year planner is finally up. I got my backpack armed with the necessary odds and ends to survive this week (You can't plan for a time-line greater than that, here). I've set the alarm clock to wake me up early enough to go gymming in the morning. And now to settle down and read up some concepts of marketing...

Strawberry Fields Forever!

2009-04-23T18:05:00.003+02:00

Last evening, a bunch of us from section G decided that we had had enough of staying within campus and explorers that we were, we had to go out to wine-n-dine. It was a jolly good enough thing to do, considering the options that most of us had. As if to set the tone for the evening, one of our "intro" conversations went like this:
One guy: My name is pretty unusual....
3-4 of us: No, it's not!

While we waited for the shuttle at SV4, there were some of us who decided to forego the enticing company for prior commitments to club meetings. When the bus finally arrived and we all filed in, there wasn't much place left for anyone else. The regular passengers had to share seats or stand until they reached their destinations, which they did with amused expressions, since our babble and enthusiasm was pretty infectious, if I say so myself.

Once at the place (Coco's in Jubilee Hills - the guy who plays music there is awesomely talented! The Beatles' song was the one that caught my attention at the very beginning), we all settled down to "network" wholeheartedly. The flowing drinks made a lot of it easier. You'll find snippets of conversations here - just enough to give you a good picture without people baying for my blood at the next dunking...

"Talent nite was awesome fun. I am zero at talent, I'm telling you."
"As far as animation movies go, "Incredibles" was incredible!"
"So who's single and ready to mingle?"
"Huh? What's the context??"
"Food in Mumbai is so awesome."
"I was chased by a wild elephant in an african national park."
"I have come here (ISB, that is... not to the restaurant) to impress my future mom-in-law."
"You order for me."
The "You" - a bit nervously: "I better get it right for him or he'll eat me."
"I can make Mojito!"
"So can I!"
"Let's have a Mojito party at our rooms some day!"
"You would give Ghajini a run for his money!" (This was in reference to short term memory, and not the terrific body. I know, this is not an ideal world yet).

It was one instance of losing track of time with good company. However, we had to make way for another group of equally vella people from our school who came in later. Besides, we also had a couple of birthday dunkings planned at midnight. As they say, we had to prioritise! Towards the end, while we were waiting in a (what-else-could-it-be) queue to pay our individual bills, one of us (a bit tipsy and arguing in favour of a particular taxi service due to their nominal costs): ---- taxis will go at 10 km per hour.....
Rest of us within earshot: Huh??

Having done the maths, we divided into groups, got into cabs like good children and came back without any further "mishaps".

As an aside, dunkings were good successes last night. After the birthday boy and girl, their quaddies and study-group mates were dunked, the remaining 6-7 of us dunked ourselves in good spirit. With that, I opened my dunking account in ISB...

A home away from home

2009-04-20T19:11:00.002+02:00

It has been barely more than a week since I reached ISB, and I honestly have to think hard to remember all that happened here - only because a lot has been happening!

To begin at the beginning, registration on April 11th sapped me out of all my energy. Every counter (loan, medical insurance, etc etc) was characterised by a long serpentine queue of hapless and lost souls. For a batch of 570-odd people, we learnt quite early that queues would be an inevitable part of our experience. Add to that my extreme discomfort in Hyderabad summer. (I must be 4 shades darker already and 2 inches lesser due to dehydration). Luckily for me, I had already got my education loan sanctioned earlier by arriving in Hyderabad in advance just for that purpose. After my parents left for Bangalore that evening, I relaxed a bit in my room. I have 3 house-mates in a 4-bedroom "quad". We, then, made our way to be addressed by our Dean. Dinner, of course, followed. The grind began the day after.

Our Orientation week or O-week was jam-packed to facilitate a lot of interaction within people of our batch and the alums. We started off with a treasure hunt to enable us to know every nook and corner of the campus. We were teamed with our study-group mates and the corresponding group of another section. I had to "retire hurt" midway through this because of my bad leg. :( I, then, got bored out of mind while the rest of the group was running about figuring out the clues, until I got a major brainwave and landed myself in front of a internet-enabled computer in the lab! :D The treasure hunt ended with a customary dunk in the pool - which I missed, of course.

I'm a bit fuzzy on the actual order of events, but I do remember a lot of formal presentations by the professional and social clubs followed by informal sessions. More than anything else, these sessions instilled the discipline in me to be able to sit in one place for a considerably long time. Having spent a long time away from academics, this was one skill I had to re-learn. We also had a team-building event spanning a whole day. It was professionally organised and every "game" was designed in a way to provide entertainment and a deeper lesson towards working as a team. It was a novel way of introducing team-work in a new set of people who hardly know each other.

Somewhere along the way, we were divided into sections, as well. I am in the brand new G section. We had a Talent Nite towards the end of O-week which was, basically, an inter-section competition. I am being very modest, but section G did put up a really original and awesome show. We even had an original song (created and composed by some of the more talented amongst us). During this night, we also realised how our alums took our trip - first with an SV change request form and then with a supposed psychometric test. The video recordings were hilarious! Hats off to them!

Did I forget to mention the parties? We have had 3 official parties until now, already - with so many other random parties (SV party, poker party, etc). I must say that we do know how to bring about balance in our lives. As our alums advised us - Work hard, Play harder - seems to be the motto.

ISB - The place to be!

2009-04-13T15:56:00.002+02:00

Yes, it has officially and formally begun. I'm not lying - we had a terrific party last night to prove it :D

I am a bit e-challenged right now coz my Macbook is being configured by the IT department of my school. But, worry not - you shall be loaded with the relevant details soon. Until then, I'll leave you with the trivia that I am in SV3 (Student Village 3) - the coolest one. I assert this statement so blatantly because no one I know has refuted it vociferously till now. It seems like they all already had that opinion. :P

I lowwwe* Bangalore!

2009-03-09T21:33:00.002+01:00

* to be pronounced the way some South Indians say "love"

I have been using this statement quite often recently (pronunciation et al). Adding to the fact that I am now happily at home, Bangalore's weather is a treat. No, really! So, it is March and the middle of a supposedly punishing summer, right? Today, I went out with my sister on my much-weathered Scooty and we were enjoying the sight of swaying Gulmohar trees on a cloudy afternoon. After a beautiful sunset, it also rained here, complete with the nice earthy smell before the pitter-patter of raindrops and lightning! What else can I say - I lowwwe Bangalore!

Yet another phrase I seem to have caught on to is "I likes!" - with that 's'. I use it to express my hearty approval for a varied assortment of things - books, news, chakli (a sort of goodie that comes within the snack category), you-name-it.

Today, while my sister and I were patiently abiding our time at a crossroad's traffic signal (it took us 3 'red's to get to the particular 'green' to make our escape from that part of the world), we saw the bus that connects our home to the heart of the city on the other lane. With squeals of excitement we pondered over the feasibility of leaving our Scooty parked there and crossing the road to run behind the bus, as we used to during our school years. Just the fact that we saw that bus justified such an action - at one time, that reaction was hard-wired in us. Of course we didn't do any such thing. Instead, we started recounting our adventures with this particular route's bus in such animation and good spirit, that all our grumpy neighbours at the traffic signal were wearing smiles when that light finally turned 'green'.

Like the time when we school children (note the classification of passengers made here - big school bags automatically reduced our standing in the order of priority) would try to cheat our way into an empty bus at the terminus when it had just offloaded one set of passengers - only to get that coveted spot behind the driver. We didn't even want a seat then, we weren't so greedy. And then, there were those sadistic drivers who would scold us out of the bus and then drive over a kilometre away to the rightful platform, thinking that running all that way with our heavy schoolbags only to find a fully loaded bus would be punishment enough for us!

The "platform" initiated other memories - of the buses docking in on either sides of the platform. This was when the people who are quick on their feet would win the battle. Since the terminus is huge and there were loads of buses standing there, vertically challenged passengers could not really spot their ride coming in to gain the advantage of time. My sister laughed about the way she would keep an eye on the "regular" passengers as well, so as to read their body language in case they sighted the bus arriving on the other side of the platform.

We also spoke about how some drivers would remove the board of the bus (informing the number and route) before arriving at the platform - just to make life a little more challenging for the hapless passengers. They thought that this strategy would save them and their bus from the mad rush of a swirling human tide from trying to get into their precious buses. Alas! It never worked in their favour. In fact, the effect was the opposite as people intending to board other buses, which were running late, would compete to board this bus in the vain hope that this was it! They were only human - optimism and hope was all they had at that time. I reminded my sister of the numerous times I would run to check the board of such a bus when the driver would turn the engine on - you can only imagine how alert we had to be for any last-minute changes in destination and intent of the drivers.

All this fond nostalgia led us to be thankful for our respective two-wheelers, which, when they were given to us by our parents, provided us with a freedom and independence we savoured and cherished for many years. Standing at that traffic signal, we reiterated our gratitude to the turn of events in our lives which increasingly reduced our dependence on Bangalore's public transport. As I accelerated beyond the crossroad, we both wondered if things have changed since then. We hope so (we are human too) and would love to find out. ;)

Words Unsaid

2009-02-16T21:04:00.004+01:00

Switching on the lights at home
Her thoughts wandered to them -
Her family - Whose love stayed with her as a strength
and infact everything from that love did stem.

She sighed and then remembered her friends.
Glancing at the time,
A small mischievous smile played on her lips.
Growing up, they were all her partners in crime.

Kicking off her shoes and throwing away the bag,
On the couch she sprawled.
Would he be thinking of her? Would he remember
The night when, for him, she was all dolled?

The day had been tiring and long.
As if to lighten the load, a lone tear was shed.
Outside, the shadows lengthened and night fell softly.
Inside, a million words were left unsaid.

Homing in!

2009-02-13T22:08:00.005+01:00

This is the last part of my "pre-MBA experience", as it is called.

Stage 6: ISB
I must have begun considering ISB seriously only after exploring its website and reading up alumni opinions on it. By the end of June, ISB's PGPM had overtaken IIM-A's equivalent program in my opinion. IIM-A was still on my list though - "sentimental" reasons ;)

After working on IMD's essays, I had about 3 weeks to go for the Round-1 deadline for ISB... and I hadn't even started with my application! To add to my woes, most people I spoke to suggested that I give another attempt at GMAT because 690 was too low a score for an IT professional applying to ISB. They, of course, tried to put it as politely as they could. So I did just that with disastrous results. There I was - with my confidence in tatters and my desire to make it into ISB stronger. There was nothing to it but apply with the best I had in me. I wrote the essays within 2 weeks and by the time I got them reviewed and ensured that my recommendations were submitted by the concerned people, it was 9:30 pm of the day before the deadline. To keep the excitement in my life, the server collapsed and I couldn't submit my application until many anxious minutes later during which thoughts like "Is this a sign?", "Should I opt for submitting the application for Round-2?" and "Maybe another attempt at GMAT can turn favourable?" played havoc. Finally, I decided that I was ready to submit my application then. If one GMAT score mattered so much, maybe ISB wouldn't be all that it is hyped to be. So, as soon as the server came up, I hit the submit button, thus eliminating any chances of surrendering to self-doubt again.

The IMD interview happened a week later. After that, I began following the thread on the Pagalguy forum. Obviously, I couldn't read all the posts from the beginning (there were about 350 pages by then) but I followed the posts diligently from then on. The panic when the interview calls were being sent out was almost catching. But if you remember, my confidence levels were not too high and neither were my expectations. I was almost detached while reading the posts, almost sure that I may not get a call. Imagine my surprise when I got the interview call! All was not lost yet... I began preparing for the interview with renewed enthusiasm.

Meanwhile, my family started getting more excited about ISB than me. It was afterall the only school in India I was applying seriously to. An admit from here meant that I would be returning home. Anything else, to them, meant that I might never go back to India for good. So, while I was battling with the butterflies in my stomach, I had to appear nonchalant on the phone calls - "This isn't the only option, Mamma. I will be applying to other schools as well and you know that." And both of us knew why I said what I did.

By then, on the PG thread, people had posted their interview experiences. Some people had a completely unambiguous interview - the panel was impressed, the questions were in a direction decided by the applicant and finally, the closing remarks by the panel were very encouraging. Being an international applicant, my interview was among the last ones. There was something funny, though. I got scheduled twice - once on a Friday afternoon and then again on the following Monday morning. The second schedule was sent to me after I had confirmed my availability for the first. I remember calling the admission committee from work. A very harassed lady received my call and when I introduced myself as an R1 applicant, I could almost sense the icicles forming on the other end of the line. Heheh. I think this was a result of all the calls from anxious applicants who had not yet received their interview calls. However, as soon as I explained my predicament, I was tagged as someone with a "real" issue and the voice became quite friendly. The confusion was sorted and I was to call in at the specified number on Monday morning for my interview.

The interview itself was one which gave me no clue about my chances. As with other telephonic interviews, mine started with the panel introducing themselves and then I was given the word "bank" - a minute to think about it and a minute to speak on it. I tried thinking but after the first 2 associations, I went blank. I could feel my throat constricting in panic and I decided to start talking on it immediately instead of psyching myself into a dumb state. Luckily, I found a third association while speaking and told them I had nothing more to say when I finished. After this, the first question I was asked was - "We've seen your application and don't find any special reason to take you into ISB. Can you convince us otherwise?" - the "Why you" question. I think I tackled it well enough, inspite of certain statements to contest my assertions. After that, the interview took a conversation-like appearance. They were curious about my employer and the way I got recruited here, the business my employer is in, the competition, the project I am working on, etc. Another panelist came in with a hypothetical case and asked me the sales impact on a particular product due to a certain condition imposed. I made my assumptions and estimations out aloud and came to a remarkably high sales impact! :P The panelist was shocked and asked me if that could be possible - he gave me a real analogy to prove his point. I made an impulsive decision to stick with my number and gave my justification by infusing some humour into it. They seemed convinced because they dropped the cross-questioning after that and the atmosphere relaxed. The topic veered to the kind of books I read and which were the last 6 books I had read. After mentioning 4, I blanked out again. I thought for a few seconds and then confessed that I don't remember any more at the moment. Then we spoke about what I do for recreation here and the fact that I speak a little French came up. My! Were they surprised! That caught me off-balance because I had mentioned it in my application and I didn't expect them not to know it already. So, we had a few minutes talk about exactly how much of the language I know and luckily, that is something that has many humourous accounts from my life. After a couple of questions from me, the interview ended. It lasted 25 minutes.

Then began the long wait for the results. I began looking up the other global schools I intended to apply to and started filling a couple of application forms. A week before the promised day of results, the PG thread started going ballistic - with random speculations that did nothing to calm the fluttering hearts reading the thread. I spent that week very listless at work. I looked like I had the worries of the whole world on my shoulder, didn't speak much to my colleagues and basically was a grouch. And then, finally, the results were published - and I started another interesting phase of my life. :)

... and the highway

2009-01-27T23:19:00.006+01:00

This post is second in the series.

Stage 4: GMAT
I think I bought Kaplan in December 2007. Without really knowing about it, I had started off my preparation by buying the most difficult material. The "theory" and exercises in the book were alright enough, but the practice tests! - I used to go into a depression after attempting the practice tests! Only much later did I realise that I should not be taking the Kaplan scores as the Gospel truth about my preparation. My GMAT was scheduled in March, right before the Easter holidays. I scored a 660 in it (Q 48, V 33 - I think). I went to UK to visit my friends during Easter, which was a good thing. It helped me get over the disappointment of my score. My friends encouraged me to schedule the GMAT again since they were certain that I could do better than this. I came back from UK brimming with enthusiasm and determination - although I couldn't really get back to studying until much after that. Work became taxing and then, it was spring. :) I love spring. There are music festivals here and I went on so many roadtrips - it was awesome. Anyway, coming back to the serious stuff, my GMAT preparation never really took off again. I bought the OG 11, but looked through it very half-heartedly. Some time in July, I attempted GMAT again and scored slightly better at 690 (Q - 48, V - 35). Somewhere around this time, I ensured that I contacted and spoke to the people who I would approach for the recommendations. It was important that they knew about this and my ambitions in advance.

Stage 5: The IMD experience
Now that I had the requisite criteria to appear for a one-year program in India (ie I would be 27 by the time I start the program and I would have stayed abroad for 3 years), in my research for the right B-schools to apply to, IIM-A was a given. Honestly, at that time, ISB was something I was thinking of only because it was Indian and reputed. I had not really found out anything about it, the way I did for IMD, Lausanne.

Lausanne is only about 80 km away from Geneva. So, it was a matter of convenience for me to go on a campus visit to IMD in August 2008. We were about 8 visitors to the school that day. The campus is very unlike the campuses in India, in that it is smaller. The MBA program at IMD was just one of its programs - the bread and butter comes from their EMBA program and corporate programs. However, what impressed me was the synergy between the companies and the school. The infrastructure was not dazzling but it was sufficient. I liked the concept of the class size being kept constant at 90. Compared to this, INSEAD (France) seemed a little bigger - where the potential of being lost in the crowd is higher. I came back from the campus visit highly impressed. But I knew that it would be a marketing strategy ;) and so I approached a person working in my company who is an alumnus of IMD. I'll call him T.

T was very helpful. First, he tried to see if IMD and I "fit" together. He explained to me how important this "fit" is. You have to be an advantage to the school, the way the school will be an advantage to you. Don't apply to a school in desperation or just because an MBA from anywhere will do. Find out exactly what are the principles driving the school. Look at the previous performance of the school - which industry favours it, where are the alumni based, what was the placement record, was your "dream job" offered regularly in the past. When I started with the application form of IMD, I contacted him again - "Would he please read my essays and give me some feedback?". The IMD essays were traumatic. I had to write 13 essays! Of course they had character limit and of course they asked you everything about your life! When T reviewed them, he was brutal. For some of them, he laughed at me outright! (Hmph! I still can't decide whether to find him obnoxiously conceited or graciously helpful!) Apart from him, I asked a few of my friends to review the essays, too. Finally, after all the feedback, I edited my essays and managed to submit my application right before the last deadline - September 1st 2008.

Two weeks later, I was invited for the interview. Now, interview at IMD is a slightly different affair - it is a day-long affair, to be exact. I was sent a case by mail when I confirmed that I would be available for the interview. When I showed up at IMD, there were probably another 7 people there - each from different walks of life. One was a marketing manager from Russia while another was a programmer from Brazil. If I had to give marks for diversity of the candidate pool, IMD would have scored big time. Anyway, we were taken to a room. Two of us were escorted for our interviews, while the remaining were given a sheet with mini-cases. We had to choose the one we liked and make a presentation on it. We were given the markers and transperancies. They gave us half an hour to do that. After this, I had 15 minutes of break followed by the "long" interview. It was taken by one of the admission committee seniors. This interview was mainly probing. In a very subtle way, they wanted to know the usual questions - why MBA, why IMD, why now. Apart from these questions, they wanted to know my background, how did I come to be here (in Switzerland), what's my work like. Now that I think about it, I think I fumbled many times during this interview. I took it too casually.

The interview was followed by another "short" one where I remember being asked if I had enough funds to make the first payment if I was offered a seat. This interview was supposed to inform the candidate about the living costs here, etc. Since, I already had an idea about that, the session didn't take too long for me. After this, we all had a lunch break, where each of us was "hosted" by a current student. We could ask them a lot of questions about the curriculum, the placements, the Discovery expeditions, etc. My host and I got talking and we forgot about the time - I had to gulp my dessert down and run for the next session of the interview day - which was the case study part.

First, each of us got the chance to present our mini-case. We had discussions after each presentation. Then we were told to agree on one mini-case and present it as a group. Having done that, after the usual round of questions, we took a break. This was finally followed by the main case study. We had a faculty member presiding over the discussion - a very humble and humourous man, but very very good at what he does. His task was to get all of us on one page about the case. Then, we were divided into two groups, told to bundle off and discuss our "solution" and then come back and present it. Finally, it was over. The director of the program came by to have a few words with us. IMD had just been ranked #1 by the Economist and they were justly proud.

When I finally left IMD, it was 5 pm. The day had begun at 8 am and there wasn't an instant where we were allowed to relax. As I drove back to my friend's place for the weekend, I thought that given the kind of experience and backgrounds of the other candidates and current students, IMD was probably not the right "fit" for me.

The Road Less Travelled

2009-01-25T01:46:00.002+01:00

or something like that :)

This post is the first part of a summary of all my relevant experiences until now - related to my quest for an MBA.

Stage 1: The vague idea
It was probably during the last years of my engineering program when I decided that I could, in fact, enjoy management more than the technical equation of life. This realisation dawned upon me partly due to the various committees I was involved in during fests and partly due to the slight lack of inspiration towards the curriculum. Dutifully, I attempted my CAT in 2002, ending up with a decent enough score for the first attempt. However, I lost out on DI and was assured of no call-backs that year. I realised almost at the same time that without some work experience, the program would not really make much sense. So, I went ahead with my first job, putting the idea of an MBA at the back of my mind. I promised myself that 2 years from then, I would do a revaluation of the whole idea and its relevance in my life at that time.

Stage 2: A certainty
Fast forward to 2 years later. I was working and was, at that time, pretty happy with the job and its challenges. However, as promised, I paused to rethink. Now, more than ever, I knew that I would not be doing something technical at 30. I wanted to move to the management side of the industry. I had 2 options - work hard and patiently wait for recognitions which might aid the transition (notice the various factors at play in this option) or invest in the master's to be on the fasttrack towards what I wanted. A lot of discussions and thought into the matter convinced me to opt for the latter option. I prepared for CAT this time and applied only to the IIMs. It wasn't that I was overconfident and obstinate about it. :) Yet again, I was practical enough to realise that I was not really ready. CAT 2004 was a dry-run - something to help me judge myself. I needed to know how much more was required from me. This time, the verbal section held me up. So, now, after the results were declared, I knew I had to work on both, the quant and the verbal. I spent the next few months with quite a busy schedule - work taking almost 14 hours a day and studying in the weekends.

I took a month off before CAT 2005 - I just didn't want anything to disturb me during that time. And as is usual in such cases, just about everything did! :) There was a medical complication in the immediate family and I finally received an opportunity to go on-site (the famous "on-site" for the IT crowd) for long term within that one month. I refused the opportunity after a lot of deliberation - it just didn't seem worth it. My boss was not really expecting that response and I almost received a veiled threat that I would not be considered for any more of such "opportunities" since I refused this one. "Too bad", I thought. "Time to look for another job after CAT". A week before D-day, however, he called me again - this time with another "opportunity". The "on-site" this time was at the client HQ, to do the kind of work that I always wanted to do. You don't know how confusing it all became. I really really really wanted this experience, but the time was right for an MBA. I was prepared for CAT. I had applied to the institutes I wanted to apply to and I was confident. Then again, I just distanced myself from the immediate situation and thought ahead. I decided that the experience was worth postponing my MBA dream for a while. "Soon", I promised myself. I went ahead with CAT 2005 however and thought I had the most difficult test in the world! I was sure that I didn't perform well and secretly was glad that I had another viable option in my life at that time. I left for Switzerland as 2006 began and about a month later received the much-awaited calls. Sigh! There I was again - torn between a professional commitment and a personal dream. There was nothing to do but let one pass - I continued working on my assignment.

Stage 3: Disillusionment and desperation
15 months into the assignment and life was slowly getting all too predictable. As I saw it, the fact that I was at client location made it even tougher for recognitions to come my way. After all, wasn't I being rewarded enough by working there? The trade-off did not look all that tempting anymore. I was homesick and worked to the bone. It was time to do something drastic to get my life back on track. It was time to go home. I timed it so that I could get back to India, settle down and prepare for CAT 2007. This time I also thought about GMAT. I wanted to apply to ISB and the international B-schools as well. But life had other plans. Before I knew it, I was back in Switzerland with another job.

That winter I tried to explore options for a part-time MBA in Geneva and the surrounding region. I spoke to my manager about the possibility of my leaving earlier a few days of the week. I had spoken about my plans to do an MBA during my interviews with this company. So, I was confident about being supported by them. However, after sitting in at few of the classes, I was discouraged. The level of detail that I expected from the program was missing. The part-time program had not enough time to dedicate to each case - and of course, the pre-reads were relatively enormous! What now?? It had to be a full-time program for me. So, I was back at my books and began researching.

A rose is a rose is a rose is a rose.

2009-01-22T23:07:00.005+01:00

Finally, I could take it no longer! So here's a post clarifying the mystery. For the clueless, Reetu / Ritu means season.

My name is Reetu. It says so on my passport and on all my valid documents which could pass as various forms of proofs of identity in many countries. This is thanks to the lady who was registering me as a 4-year old into the school records. I imagine the conversation to have been something like this:
Lady (in a bored voice): So, what's the little angel's name?
Dad: Ritu
Lady: Huh?
Dad (and this is probably what he shouldn't have done): Ri-tu
Lady: Ah! Ok!

And so, amidst smiles and general feelings of a job well done, I was registered as Reetu. When we realised the mistake and tried to change it, we were politely informed that we would have the chance when I appeared for my board exams (which would be about 11 years later from the unfortunate mishap). And don't you think that 11 years is enough time to get used to something? :) Besides, I just had to ensure that I signed as "Reetu" while my family and close friends continued to call me "Ritu". Finally, when the time came, we realised that it was just too much trouble - petitioning to a court, announcing in the newspapers apart from all the paperwork involved. I decided that I could live with "Reetu" - it meant the same thing and moreover, it was a part of my identity now.

Doesn't make much of a difference really.

My two cents

2009-01-16T22:35:00.005+01:00

I am going to be writing for a long time - that explains the bottle of juice and chips by my side. I have a lot to say and bring you up to speed on. And it is going to be in random order again and I shall digress often - because I have a lot of time on hand. :)

Now that the disclaimers and warnings are out of the way, I can tell you that it is Friday evening and I am tired to the bone. One of my friends is going back to India for a vacation tomorrow and two of us volunteered to help her pack and check-in tonight. Let me just say that her baggage exceeded the limit so remarkably that getting to the airport was a hilarious struggle. The suitcase decided our speed and direction of walking. Once at the counter, when we realised that it would not be accepted "as-is", we began the rigamarole of unpacking, removing stuff, packing, weighing. The iteration was repeated twice before the extremely nice and polite lady at the counter was satisfied, while I was dehydrated by the end of it. And before this, I had to run for the bus today. I decided to sell my car and it is now at the garage. So, my experience with the public transport began again. After work, as I was picking my way on the heavily frosted road to the bus stop, I squinted far ahead to see the bus on its way. I was about half a kilometre away from the stop and I took the decision to run for it. As an aside, I think people run fastest for the bus and the train. In fact, if someday I want to compete in a sprint, I am going to visualise a bus "just there" near the finishing line. Invariably, the bus reached the stop much before me. Thankfully the driver also must have squinted into the darkness to see a small compact mass of denser darkness moving swiftly towards the bus and must have correctly guessed it to be a passenger. And he waited... Bless his soul! And thus, I am really really tired...

I have been conspicuously silent on the Mumbai terror attacks, famously termed as the 26/11 by the media. (If they had to copy the logic of 9/11 completely, it should have been 11/26, but I digress again...) As mentioned before, I try to post only when I begin thinking objectively about the subject. The nature of this subject, however, was such that I could not really think objectively about it for a long long time. Enough has been written already on it - the audacity of the terrorists, the heroism of the common people who worked with what they had - their presence of mind being the most effective, the lop-sided sensationalisation of the media who kind of "forgot" to cover the story at VT where the poorer Indians travelling by trains lost their lives, the heavily under-armed Mumbai police trying to control the situation with fisticuffs (Yes, they captured the lone surviving terrorist at a checkpost after a raw physical fight). As with any crisis, the best and worst of human nature was showcased. Politicians appeared to be tripping over each other to commit gaffes, only showing how starkly disconnected they were from the public sentiment, while the saviours of the day got into the BEST buses to go back to their barracks, self-effacing and gracious - only saying things like "Hamesha, jab bhi zaroorat pade, kadam-kadam pe milte rahenge" ( Always, whenever needed, we'll be there ), "We just did our duty".

So, what now? Are all the other Indians doing their duty? After a million talk-shows and "this ought to be done"s, I really don't see anyone feeling any safer in India. Our wonderful government decided to go on a "diplomatic offensive" to try and garner international support against the "friendly" neighbour who seems to be heavily embroiled in this mess. The attacks sealed the fate of the home minister who had to step down dishonourably (I am not sure if that is an apt word for an Indian politician) to give way to someone who was a performer in quite another area. The old trick of stalling has worked again, while Indians slowly get busy with their daily life and demands for accountability grow far and in between. All said and done, the US, having lost 6 of its valuable citizens, seems a little more on the offensive than India who lost more than 150 of her children. Why? Are Indian lives cheaper? I don't understand this. Even today, the news of 3 Indians taken hostages by Somalian pirates was tucked away in a nondescript corner of a major Indian online news journal. Why? Why don't we value our lives enough to raise a hue and cry about such injustices being meted out to us? What is wrong with us?

!A deep breath later! Apparently, I still can not be emotionally detached on this topic. :) Maybe we don't appreciate each other enough. I mean, we don't even value labour equally. Try going to a restaurant in an international location and give an order without saying "Thank you" or "Please". You would be considered rude, not only by the people who wait on you, but also by the others around you. Then, why don't we do this in India? We give the order, sometimes even say "Thank you" - but would it hurt to look the waiter in the eye and smile while thanking him? I was in Bhopal last summer. There was a small kiraana shop (a shop around the corner) where I went to recharge the credit on my mobile. It was a hot afternoon, the old shopkeeper was in a foul mood. I paid for the credit and when I received the confirmation by sms, I smiled, thanked him and left the shop. That guy treated me as a special customer after that - getting his assistant to get me a chair to wait while he was busy with another customer, calling me "beti" (daughter) and things like that. And it was because I smiled and thanked him, always. Anyway, I digress again. My point is that we don't value each other equally. Once we change that, no one can hurt one of us and get away with it so easily.

I went home for Christmas. :) My niece, Nishttha, had started trying to crawl on her fours (Now, she's good at it and has started standing up by herself, holding on to something sturdy). One night, she was in the mood to play and stayed up with her aunt until 2 am. It was comical when she finally began feeling sleepy - she kept trying to remove a pattern from the bedspread for about 20 minutes, took a deep breath, looked around and after some unintelligible words to me, fell onto her side - asleep. :D The first week at home was bliss. If someone left me unattended for 10 minutes, I used to fall asleep (but not quite the same way as I just described Nishttha do). I met up with my friends from Satyam. One of them, Sudhi, was married already while another, Usman, got engaged right before I left. This leaves only 3 of us from the group who are still single - the three stooges :D Although, I am almost sure that the social status of the other two guys is going to change soon. I saw the movie - Ghajini. The movie itself was not so great, but I loved the experience of watching it on the big screen - with hoots and whistles whenever Aamir made an "appearance". Heheh. I so regret not being able to wolf-whistle. I met one of my college friends too - probably after 2 years. It was nice meeting him :) Then, I also managed to have coffee with some of the Bangalore-based future classmates of mine. The meet-up was alright but maybe I had had a long day and I was a little out of sorts - I did invite a "And why are you so quiet?" from them :D Well, they'll know just how much I talk over the next year...

Talking about ISB, we have already started the "networking" thing. The mails and then some more mails from the group keeps me quite busy. I am honing my skills of selective absorption. :D Apparently, ISB student culture has spam-mails as an integral part of life - the closer the end-term exams, the higher the mail exchange within a whole class of students. So, I am hoping that this new skill will be well-utilised. By the way, I must ask someone if "my two cents" has been adopted as the phrase of the year by my class. I seem to have missed the announcement and suspect that it is so because only this would justify the abuse of the phrase in our mails. ;) (I know you guys are reading this :D)

My post has finally come to an end and it is not because I am done saying what I wanted to, but because it is late and I want to sleep. I'll continue this post another time. Don't wait for it. :)

Song of the day: I'm yours by Jason Mraz

The Fall into Disgrace

2009-01-08T21:04:00.005+01:00

The Satyam fiasco. A nightmare that can't be wished away.

For the uninitiated, you can find here the scanned copy of a confession that might change a lot in the way business is done in corporate India. This is being termed as India's Enron - a dubious honour we could do without.

Under the arc-lights of media frenzy and mass hysteria, a great Indian dream is biting the dust. As an ex-Satyamite, I was proud of that company. All its accomplishments, were also mine and vice-versa. Of course, I had my frustrations with the HR, the middle-level management and so many other things that irked, but never was I ashamed of being a Satyamite.

It was the first company I started my career with, grew with for 3.5 years and where I made some lifelong friendships. I looked up to Ramalinga Raju - I had met him once when he came over to Vevey for a management meeting with Nestlé and then had the time to sit with our team here, and just talk. A soft-spoken humble man. Rama Raju was present when I received my first client appreciation certificate. So many memories - mostly pleasant.

And today, the man is being made out to be a monster on the TV screens. All the shady dealings are under scrutiny - by people who must have been bribed to pass those aforesaid dealings. His confession letter gives the image of him locking himself up in a room to edit the balance sheet. That just can't be right. There had to be others in the know although the buck stopped with him. All those individuals should be punished. I remember harsh HR repurcussions on associates who failed their BG checks. These "corporate honchos" should suffer the same indignity. Time will show how accountable the investors would make these individuals for destroying so much of value.

Write it down as wishful thinking, but for the sake of all the stakeholders, my investments (time and money) into this company, and for the sake of many of my friends who are still there, trying to come to terms with the sudden uncertainty in their lives through no fault of theirs, I wish Satyam, the company, manages to ride this wave. It would have to start with a clean slate again and maybe with twice the effort to salvage the situation and reputation, but then which honest Indian is afraid of hard work?

Of tingling fingertips and the better India

2008-12-07T20:27:00.004+01:00

My fingertips are tingling - a sensation very much like what my sister calls "the meetha waala dard" (the sweet pain) after an unexpected game of badminton. I am on the verge of getting some clavi (umm... that's the plural for callous and I just learnt it too!) but I should just keep practising my guitar to get them soon. Then I won't feel the pain anymore - or so they say... For now, I am enjoying this tingling sensation. :)

Continuing with the updates of my life this year, I became a anime fan. I watched almost all the Studio Ghibli movies - My Neighbor Totoro, Laputa: Castle in the Sky, Kiki's Delivery Service, Only Yesterday, I Can Hear the Sea, Whisper of the Heart, Princess Mononoke, Spirited Away and Howl's Moving Castle. I've also seen some series like Scrapped Princess, Full Metal Panic! (all parts), Kamikaze Kaitou Jeanne. I absolutely love the imagination and creativity that goes into these things. Now, in addition to knowing some basic Japanese words like Hai (Yes), Iie (No), Gomen-nasai (I'm sorry), arigatō (Thank you), Wakarimashita (I understand), etc I know what to gift my niece for quite a few of her birthdays :D

With my admission offer, came peace of mind. I resigned on the 1st of this month and was happy with the encouraging reaction at work - only because I am going to do my Master's. Had I been leaving to join a competitor, it would have been another story, I am sure! I am now catching up on my reading with a vengeance. I have been staying up ungodly hours like 3:30 am just to finish a book - just like in school and college! Only difference is that over here I have to ensure that I get to work, have something to eat and do all the mundane stuff of "living" by myself. :-s

Just one more thing before I sign off this Sunday evening: I came across this site recently - http://www.thebetterindia.com/ Before you dismiss it, let me tell you that it is NOT a site trying to make you feel guilty about not giving enough charity. Like a breath of fresh air, this site publishes positive news-worthy stories about India - stories that inspire and pleasantly surprise. According to the "About Us" page - The Better India is an attempt to bring out those happy stories, those unsung heroes and heroines, those small good deeds, and showcase them to the world. Over here, you will be able to read about the incremental progress being done by the industrious people of this country, the developments happening on the social and economic front. We hope that by showcasing these here, we might be able to inspire at least one amongst you, the readers, to do something that leaves an impact. Small or big. But, an impact.

ISB ahoy!

2008-11-21T23:30:00.004+01:00

Alors! I am going to be doing my Masters in Business Administration next year - at ISB, Hyderabad (India). I got the news yesterday and I have been celebrating it since! :) I was never so unproductive at work before. This week was spent as a bundle of nerves - first reading the posts at a forum of aspirants with the blood pressure threatening to skyrocket at every 10 minutes and then the uncertainty of the time when the results were to be declared. And then, finally, because of the news :D
Moving on to another topic, last evening, I saw Michael Flatley's Lord of the Dance! It was awesome! Don't miss it if you get a chance to see it in your city. Here's a tidbit of information about this show:
In Season 4 of Friends, when Monica is asked that "According to Chandler, what phenomenon scares the bejeezus out of him?", her correct answer is "Michael Flatley, Lord of the Dance!" because, according to Chandler, "[Flatley's] legs flail about as if independent of his body!"

Updates - Loads of them!

2008-11-17T20:21:00.005+01:00

So, now that I found my vagrant steps back here, I have loads and loads to tell, which I will proceed to do without further ado and in no particular order:

Since my last post, I travelled to UK for Easter (London and Edinburgh, to be precise) - Thanks H, S and K! I loved this trip! :)Then, I went to Copenhagen on a roadtrip on a 3 day weekend with my Swiss friend (who is now working in India, with my previous employer) - J! I miss having someone as impulsive and foolish as me over here! I also travelled all over Switzerland over spring and summer with friends and clocked up many many kilometres in my reliable little Lupo.:)
I have got bored of watching movies on the net. I know! I can hardly believe it, but life does go on, you know!? :D Given that not all Hollywood movies are released here, if at all (Eg: Wall-E premiered here after 2 months) and finding distributors for Indian movies is a lost cause, I get enough time to... umm... watch serials (*grin*) :D I am hooked on to How I met Your Mother and for some time, even watched Two and a Half Men diligently. However, a broken link ended my precarious enthusiasm for the latter. Although, I still watch HIMYM because I love Barney (always have, since his Doogie Howser days) and because I hope someday I might find a guy like Ted. By the way, the guy who plays Barney is a case in point about my theory about handsome, single, humourous and comfortably well-off guys being gay. *sighhhhhhhh*
I made a lot of friends since then. I have become more outspoken and less inhibited. :) I am surprising even myself with the ease with which I converse with random guys. I am even talking so much at work these days that my teammates comment immediately on the lack of that on my "off" days.
I have done a lot of dancing in the past two months - between going for the dandia night held here and *ahem* increased clubbing. :D
O gave me his song collection which is 120 GB. Awesome!
I went to India in June - for a measly little week - to see my adorable niece, who was, then, only 15 days old. Aunt and niece hit it off immediately much to the wonder of all and sundry - she didn't pee or poop even once in her aunt's arms. :D Given that the general rule of the house was that the person in whose lucky arms she would perform her un-cute duties would have to clean up, I was doting on her by the end of the trip. I will be going during Christmas again. This time, as concluded by listening to her vociferous opinions on the phone, I would be meeting a decided 6-month old personality. :D
I have begun learning to play the guitar. Finally. :) Getting the guitar here from Mumbai was an interesting experience. I can't tell you how handy an excuse for conversation carrying a musical instrument can be. :) From the lady officer who scanned me at the Mumbai security check to the Swiss Passport Control Officer - everyone spoke to me and were very kind and helpful, as well. My tutor is an American student here who's been playing the guitar since junior high. He's good and says that I will be playing decently well by Christmas, if only I practise everyday.
Gym - ummmm... I have not been the model member (forgive the pun) off-late. Curiously, one of my colleagues spends 2 hours everyday in the gym and says she doesn't notice a difference, while I continue to reduce weight :D We concluded that she's working out for me as well and since then, I have made it a point to make her feel guilty enough about skipping gym so that she doesn't miss it and I can blissfully binge on créme brulée :D I know I am wicked!
I am continuing to work hard and play hard. I will be skiing this season... and - I want to go for the 6 km sledge run at Pilatus as well.
And finally, I haven't yet given up on my plans to study further. I am applying seriously now for the next fall. My family has happily given me the freedom to reach for the stars (wherever they be) by agreeing not to shackle me by matrimonial bonds until then.

Donc! J'ai terminé pour maintenant! à bientôt, mes amis! :) :)

Random

2008-03-15T22:06:00.003+01:00

I saw the 1999's version of Mansfield Park today. Jane Austen lifted my spirits, yet again.

I started this post with a purpose - which is lost now. So, I am just going to ramble on. The song playing in my head is Rabbi Shergill's Tere Bin, thanks to a Punjabi friend who translated it for me. I've copied the lyrics from someone's blog and you can find them at the end of this post.

I've had a busy time at work the last few weeks, though it is alright. I am not complaining because I like busy times better than those when I sit twiddling my thumbs, pretending to work. At home, my family has been having a difficult time coping with a lot of things. At times like these, I feel like leaving everything behind and going home. I'm planning a short vacation soon...

I'm supposed to be Elizabeth Bennet - character of Jane Austen - according to a Facebook quiz. Since I like her too, I am happy :D "You are a spunky, vivacious person with wit to spare... and a bit of a temper." A-ha! :) According to Orkut, my fortune reads: You are going to have a very comfortable old age... Well, that's a relief!

I realised something yesterday - It is NOT a good idea to listen to REM's Everybody Hurts when you are feeling a teensy-weensy bit down.

I saw Subhash Ghai's new film called Black and White. It is an honest attempt, but I wonder why Indian cinema tends to blow things out of proportion in order to make them believable. It doesn't work that way with me. I saw Le Fabuleux Destin d'Amelie Poulain, too. Nice movie! I should watch it again, so that I concentrate on the French and not on the English subtitles. :P

That's all for today, I guess. I'll log off now.

tere bin / besides you

sanu sohnia / my love

koi hor nahio labhna / i shan't find another

jo dave / who'll give

ruh nu sakun / peace to my soul

chukke jo nakhra mera / and indulge me

ve main sare ghumm ke vekhia / i have gone and seen it all

amrika , roos, malaysia / america, russia, malaysiana

kittey vi koi fark si / there wasn't any difference

har kise di koi shart si / they all had some condition

koi mangda mera si sama / some asked for my time

koi hunda surat te fida / some were fascinated with my face

koi mangda meri si vafa / some demanded my fidelity

na koi mangda merian bala / none wanted my demons

tere bin / besides you

hor na kise / no one else

mangni merian bala / wanted my demons

tere bin / besides you

hor na kise / no one else

karni dhup vich chhan / shall shade me in the sun

jiven rukia / (the) way you paused

si tun zara / slightly

nahion bhulna / i shan't forget

main sari umar / all my life

jiven akhia si akhan chura / you said, looking away

"rovenga sanu yad kar" / "you shall weep in my memory"

hasia si main hasa ajeeb / i laughed a strange laugh

(par) tu nahi si hasia / but you didn't

dil vich tera jo raaz si / you had a secret in your heart

mainu tu kyon ni dasia / why didn't you tell me

tere bin / besides you

sanu eh raz / none shall tell this

kise hor nahion dasna / secret to me

tere bin / besides you

peerh da ilaaj / what druid

kis vaid kolon labhna / has the cure to my ills

milia si ajj mainu / i found today

tera ik patra / a note of yours

likhia si jis 'te / on which you had scribbeled

tun shayr varey shah da / a varis shah couplet

park ke si osnu / upon reading which

hanjnu ik duliya / a teardrop fell

akhan 'ch band si / what was locked in the eye

seh raaz ajj khulia / was revealed today

ki tere bin / that other than you

eh mere hanjnu / these tears of mine

kise hor / won't be kissed by

nahio chumna / none else

ki tere bin / that other than you

eh mere hanjhu / these tears of mine

mitti vich rulnha / will wither in the dust

A crazy evening!

2008-02-27T20:38:00.006+01:00

This evening deserves a blog of its own. Read on, if you are curious. (And please don't forget that most of the conversations were in French - with me struggling along).
In my building, some work has been going on (since more than a month) to install the heating and radiators. Earlier, in January, the project manager equivalent of the team had requested my house keys since I am not at home during the day and they needed to enter my home to set up something. When he saw me hesitating, he assured me that the concierge of the building would be present and nothing would go amiss. So, we arranged that I would hand my keys over to him the next morning and he would put it in my post-box when he was leaving. (I usually never come home before 6:30 pm and these guys stop working at 5:30 pm - So, that was the best option). Being a bit paranoid about keys, I checked so many times before leaving home, that I had the key of my letter-box with me and it was not kept safely in the key-rack. Later, in the evening, I found that they had left the keys, as promised. By some stroke of luck or plain laziness, the key to my letter-box stayed with me since then, and never found its way back on the key rack.
Fast forward to Monday - The team-lead guy of the team of technicians told me that they needed the keys again on Wednesday (aka today) and asked me if I have a duplicate set, since he wasn't sure how long they would take to finish the work. This guy happens to know English, which was great for me! I explained that I have just one set of keys (Ya, I told you I am lazy) and we can have the same arrangement as before. He readily agreed and this morning, while leaving, I handed him my keys, reminded him once again to leave the keys in the letter-box and went to work with a free mind. I returned home at 6:40 pm, parked my car and went to a supermarket nearby to buy some groceries, before it could close. On my way, a horrible thought struck me - Have I got the key to the letter box?? All thoughts of haste for the groceries just vanished while I rummaged in my bag and pockets of the coat for the little key. Surprise! Surprise! It was with me! Smiling, I continued to the shop. The anti-climax was when I entered the building and found out that my keys were not left in my letter-box....

I checked the letter-boxes of my neighbours (just by peeping in, of course) thinking that the guy would have got confused and I could just request someone to open their box and give me my keys. No luck! None of the boxes that I could reach had my keys in them! Now? What to do? I called the project-manager guy of that team (Yes, his number was up on the notice-board of our building with some old announcement)! No response. I was directed to the voicemail. Hmm... If you have seen me speak French, you would know that I can manage to stumble over words, punctuate with hand gestures and convey my message. But, speaking on a phone to leave a recorded message while I was entering the panic mode - I will leave it to your imagination... I, then, called the concierge. He stays across Geneva from my place. So, though it wasn't the best option, I still had hope that he would have mercy on me and would come with his key. And what do you know? No answer.

The glimmer of hope now turned to despair. I tried the concierge again. And, wonder of wonders, he rejected my call!! $*%&/@ Now, that I knew someone was there on the other side (though he was a heartless creature), I kept trying his number, until that horrible horrible person switched off the mobile... :(

Then, I called one of my friends here. She stays with her colleague about 10 mins from my place. She told me to come over and they'll find some place I can spend the night. Ok! While I was walking to the bus-stop with my bag of groceries (which was steadily growing heavier - the irony of buying the stuff and not being able to use it was getting to me), I thought of calling my other friend, who is Swiss and would know if I had any other option in such a scenario. I explained my predicament to him and he came up with 4 options :
1. Bunk at his place - Although he stays with his family, I was not in favour of this idea.
2. Call a locksmith service - I could consider this as a last resort. I was not wholeheartedly in favour of this since the agency might refuse to pay the bill and I would have to foot the cost - and if you know Switzerland, you would know that I am not joking when I say "cost".
3. Spend the night at a bar, chatting with him - This was just crazy!
4. Try to call the concierge at his landline number. He volunteered to search the number in the directory, provided I give him the full name.

I was already at the bus stop, but the fourth idea sounded sensible. So, I walked back to my appartment because I didn't remember the full name of that guy. He searched, but could not find a number - apparently, that mean fellow had kept his number unlisted!! Back to square one! As I walked back to the bus-stop, I even toyed with the idea of spending the night in my car. My friend dissuaded me saying that the idea is not a good one during winter. So, I thanked him for his help, promised him that I would call him if nothing works out and ended the call. After buying the ticket to my first friend's place, out of sheer desperation, I called the project-manager guy again. And voila! He answered the call! The tram came while I was trying to understand what he was saying and I missed it. Apparently, the team-lead guy "forgot" and was coming with the keys in 10 minutes!!! I flew back home and waited.

All my resolve to shout and rail at the guy had seeped out in the wintry evening, leaving me numb and tired - so much so that all I did, when he finally came and was profusely apologising, was to thank him!!!!!!!! Uff!! We began talking and he asked if I am Indian and why I do not wear the bindi and some such inane stuff. To top it all (and this kind of shook me out of the numbness settling in), he even insisted on my number after telling me how finding a partner who speaks a different language makes it easier to learn it quickly. Apparently, he was more than willing to help me find a boyfriend, so that my French improves. Sighhhh!! C'est la vie!!

So, now that I am cosy and at home and have documented this weird evening, I'm going to enjoy my pizza with chilli flakes. Bon appetit et bonne nuit!

Happy endings go on for ever more!

2008-01-20T21:38:00.001+01:00

Mika's is an amazing collection, isn't it? Anyway, that was not the reason I logged in to blog when my back is hurting and feels like it is gonna snap in two (lest you get alarmed, let me explain that it is because of spending a whole Sunday cleaning the house).

So, the big news is that, yesterday, one of the online Indian matrimonial sites registered a new user - yours truly. After months of thinking about it and being told to do so, I finally finished creating the profile. I went shopping soon after that, with the satisfaction of getting something unpleasant out of the way. I called up my mom and told her the happy news (happy for her) and was amused by the surprised tones. Ha!

The smugness, however, soon transformed into panic when I came back home and saw 2 "interests" waiting for my response. After frantically messaging my mom to chat with me the next day (when I would put up my usual and futile fight against the whole damn thing of marriage in this way and even show them this), I decided to delete my profile. As luck would have it, the server did not respond. While I was trying to get the message through to the server, my friends (who were online) managed to calm me down. I was, again, amused by the excitement shown by my friends - "Finally, she's doing something about it. We got through to her!"

So, the profile is still up and hope's alive.

The most romantic lines ever!

2007-12-01T22:45:00.001+01:00

The below lines are "the idea of a perfect first date" of a friend's orkut profile:

"two shall b born,d whole world wide apart..n speak in different tongues, follow different customs, n take no thought of each of other's being,n no heed.... n these over unknown seas,to unknown lands,shall cross..escaping wreck,defying death,..n all unconsciously shape every act,n bend each wandering step,unto this end,that one day out of darkness,they shall meet,n read life's meaning...in each other's eyes..."

When love and hate collide

2007-12-01T18:59:00.001+01:00

I am listening to this song today - over and over again. My friend K was listening to it during our chat this morning. Something about the lyrics and the way it is sung - it has just been having a soothing effect on me.

Lately, I've been out of sorts with the world. Homesickness can be a major reason, but it wasn't all. I have been making my life a bit complicated. I want to go ahead with my further studies and suddenly it didn't seem so possible. Added to that was the fact that some more of my friends have got engaged / married and honestly speaking, I miss them a lot. A few days ago, I stumbled upon a guy's blog and was touched by something he wrote to his best friend who got married. On an impulse, I wrote to him to let him know that and he replied. His mail was so thoughtful and polite. Nice to know that such people still exist in this mad world. Plus, off late, my mom (with my dad listening in anxiously) and sis have begun their not-so-subtle campaign to get me to agree to an arranged marriage - so that they can start with the famous "search". Sigh...

So, I turned to the most reliable thing to lift my spirits - the chocolate therapy (Last weekend, it was the shopping therapy and I blew a mini-fortune before I felt any better). I have had about 250 grams of chocolate today and frankly, I feel sick. Although, as long as I can feel something other than sad and morose, it's good.

... Can't stop the hurt inside
When love and hate collide...

Becoming Jane

2007-11-13T20:51:00.001+01:00

I saw the movie a few days ago. Even though the combination of the Victorian era and a love story transported me into my magical and romantic land, I was left feeling sad and hollow after the movie. Jane Austen wrote few of the best romantic stories of our times. Most girls and some boys have grown up with dreams of "the ideal one", who quite coincidentally resembles one of her characters. And she, herself, died a spinster. One line struck me as quite poignant: "My characters will have all what they desire".

I'm not so sure about the Mr. Lefroy angle and wonder if she had fallen in love with one of her characters and being an idealist, did not want to compromise with the reality of life... Did she feel the emptiness, loneliness and despair which she fleetingly touches in almost every story through one of the characters who is an "old maid"? Did she regret her decision to not marry without affection?

I imagine that this movie was one of the things I needed to "grow up", to understand that happy endings are, sometimes, limited to fairy tales and books.

The simple things of life

2007-10-17T19:30:00.001+02:00

She needed a coffee. It was 10:30 pm and she'd been at work for sixteen long hours already. Ami, her daughter, would be sixteen this fall. She must find something to make her sweet-sixteenth special. Funny, she thought, the way thoughts fly into a tangent. She could feel her muscles protesting as she stretched herself before standing. As she made her way to the coffee-machine (a life-saver, in times like these), she could see that most of the team had left for the day. The few people remaining at work were there not because of the passion they felt for their work, but since they would have to answer their bosses tomorrow. A grim smile etched onto her tired face. She was different from them. As the tablet vanished into the machine, her thoughts flew to her life 5-10 years ago...

Life had a familiar and reassuring routine, then. She had her hands full with her growing kids, a perpetually busy husband and a home. She had long since found her happiness in seeing the people she loved grow and prosper. She knew she was the backbone of the family, though often the credit wasn't given to her so eloquently. She was happy, then. She was as sure of it as she was of the heat of the coffee finding it's way into her numb senses. And then, things changed. She couldn't put her finger on the exact moment when she realised that there was no zing in her life anymore. It had started with little things. Amit had pleaded fatigue on their anniversary to sleep early, and now their anniversary came and went without anyone realising it. Rohan and Ami had announced that they could do their homework without her help. Her only fault was that she allowed them to take her for granted, she thought bitterly. As was usual, when she thought of what could have been, her eyes became moist.

Sitting back at her flickering monitor, she shrugged subconsciously. She still remembered the uncomprehending shock when she announced she joined the firm she used to work for before. With dry amusement, she remembered the first few days when her family had to get used to her not being there - the laundry, the house-help, .... Every little thing she'd taken care of and no one noticed - now, tasks were being assigned to smouldering eyes and short tempers. It had happened slowly, but they all soon fell into another kind of routine. Her shrink said her family tried to push her away with vehemence because they thought she had done the same to them when she chose to work again. That was one way of looking at things, she thought drily.

As she immersed herself into her work again, memories came unbidden to the forefront. She thought of the time she was in a meeting when she received a message that Rohan had received an injury during a football match. She had practically flown to him. The relief in his eyes when he awoke from anaesthesia and saw her by his bedside, though he'd always been Daddy's boy... Ami - sweet and rebellious Ami - she had confided in her mum about her first crush. A tender smile played on her lips as she remembered all the boys in Ami's life since that time. Ami always looked to her for an opinion, she realised. With growing wonder, she remembered Ami's friends also approaching her with awkward questions they should've asked their moms. She frowned, puzzled, as her hand hovered over the keyboard. She was proud of her children, as any mom would be. And now, she was at the brink of the realisation that they were proud of her too. All the books on parenting didn't see this one coming! It made her speechless, choked up and bubbling with joy, at the same time.

As she picked up her purse and keys to go home, as was her habit, she turned to look if she'd left something on the table. The neon hands of the clock coincided on the number 12 just as her phone rang. It was Amit. Hoping that he wouldn't start on her case (she REALLY was tired), she received his call. "Where are you??" "Uh... I'm on my way." "Where exactly?? Do you know what time it is??" Damn! Damn! Where were the car keys? "Yes... You can sleep, you know. I have the extra key, I got from the locksmith, today. I'll be there in 20 minutes. Sorry! It got late today!" "Are you kidding me?? Look around! I'm parked right behind your car. Couldn't have you driving on these roads bleary-eyed with sleep..." There he was, indeed. Amit in his Bugs-Bunny PJs and his windswept salt-and-pepper hair. As he kissed her lightly on the forehead, ushering her into the passenger seat, she realised the magic of his touch was never lost on her - even after all these years. All the fights and tears over things as silly as a forgotten anniversary would be instantly forgotten when they "kissed and made up" - as their friends termed it.

As she snuggled into his shoulder on the way home, she thought of all the things her family had done for her. They gave up on conventionalism to be with her, to keep pace with her, to let her achieve her desires and dreams. Surely, she could do the same for them. Grand gestures do make grand moments in life. But it is the little gestures that make life worthwhile. And today, this simple truth was crystal clear.

Oops! She did it again!

2007-09-14T20:54:00.002+02:00

I've been keeping up with the latest furore in India - the controversial affidavits filed by the government and the ASI, justifying the destruction of Ram Sethu by denying the historical proof of the existence of Ram. Those of you who know me, know that I am not a *very* religious person. Most claim to my religious knowledge is stemmed from a rather painful and unfortunate chapter of my life. I also, usually, stay clear of topics that evoke passions of a destructive kind. My approach to such quandaries is to wait until I can think clearly and objectively again, without letting my passion cloud my sensibility. However, I can not shrug off this base attempt by the "secular" government as trying to maintain my (for the lack of an appropriate word) neutrality towards all faiths.

If destroying the coral reefs and a world heritage site does not weigh much on the minds of the powers-that-are, how can they be blind to the fact that Ram Sethu or Adam's Bridge holds major religious connotations for atleast 3 major religions - Hinduism, Islam and Christianity? I know that many of the Indian Muslim and Christian community will not voice their indignation vociferously - trying to maintain their religious integrity by not raising the same arguments which might even benefit the Hindus (I am not being communal here - just stating the current scenario in a very confused India). However, I think it is high time for the public to realise that they should not, must not and can not let people (who don't understand their culture and history) strike a blow at their identity and get away with it. The Indian sub-continent has had more than it's fair share of such atrocities already. There is much truth in the oft-repeated adage - Unity in Diversity - though it is sad to say that 60 years after a hard-won Independence, the children of a great nation seem to have forgotten the basics.

As history repeats itself (as it is wont to do from time to time) and we have a nation crying foul over the ill-advised deed that the "mea culpa" government has done yet again, we also have a substantial number of people satisfied and pacified to see that their sentiments are shared by the one person they thought would never have understood them. After all, isn't she a European by birth and a Christian by religion? (Alright, alright! She's as Indian as an NRI is, say, American!). They fail to realise that she, who's adopted their country as we are told innumerable times, has understood them only too well. She knows exactly how an Indian mind ticks and she's smart enough to capitalise on it. By appearing to join the mass (forgive the pun) in condemning the government, she has almost succeeded in winning the good-will of the multitudes who will soon be deciding on the next premier of the nation. She knows that Indians (especially the Hindu majority) are a easily consolable crowd - they forgive easily and they are more than willing to consider you in a new light in presence of more recent happenings. She had most of the nation eating out of her hand after her "earth-shattering" decision after the previous elections. It appears to me that she has tried to re-create her magic yet again. Whether she has actually succeeded remains to be seen. Before you write me off as a Congress-hater, etc etc, please stop to think - Is it not stretching it too far to claim that the head of the Congress party, who vicariously runs the show at New Delhi, would have no prior knowledge of the affidavits that have something to do with one of the current government's major and controversial projects?? Also, the utter blasé nature of language used in the affidavits is highly suspicious. Surely, the "Yes, Ministers" harnessed to the tax-payers' burdens would be qualified enough to know exactly what should be written in a diplomatic manner to cause least offense - even if they believe it to be correct?

The passion of my countrymen are easily roused. We are a country of sentimental and emotional fools (Why do you think Bollywood is such a successful industry here?). Owing to this particular trait, we have had a history splattered with bloody wars, violence and now, in the more civilised age, demonstrations and riots. But as time has passed, Indians have acquired a remarkably short memory. I am not sure if it was required to forget the past difficulties and focus on the more immediate concern of survival of oneself and one's loved ones. I understand the competitive levels in India are very high, but the fact remains that now most of the Indian public ("the common man") has a memory span to compete with a goldfish. "Out of sight, out of mind". Even as I break my golden rule to write on this topic impulsively, I fear that it will remain in the headlines for just another few days. Then, there will be yet another distraction and the news channels will scramble all over each other to cover the latest "sensational" news, while off the Eastern coast of India, in a very unassuming location, the dredging will continue, slowly and surely, breaking off the ties that the Indian people have had with history/ mythology/ identity. Take your pick - it will amount to the same thing in the end.

First Impressions

2007-09-06T16:18:00.001+02:00

Why is it that men - young and old - rush to declare their social status to me? And No! I don't look that desperate! Seriously! I just need to have a conversation with someone twice and I'll know all about it - whether they are married, whether their wife stays with them, how many children they have, etc. The puzzling thing is that I don't seek this information at all. I would be having a completely innocent, work-related conversation and in the pauses, these tidbits are thrown my way. Interestingly, the single men also have this annoying habit, even though they appear to forget to provide any information about their girlfriends or fiancée. Do the men think that it is their duty to warn a single colleague about her chances? :P It's as amusing as it is irritating!

Hmm... Work's begun and it is hectic. I hope I haven't bitten off more than I can chew. With work, french classes and gym (yes, a soon-to-be-reality), I think I am going to be kept on my toes in Geneva.

People, here, are often surprised that I speak such fluent English without a trace of an "Indian" accent(?). Hence, apart from the usual questions of "Are you Spanish or Mexican?" (I'll attribute that to my hair colour) and "Vous parlez Espanöl?", I am now getting used to "Have you ever stayed in UK? Probably studied there?" There is a genuine look of disbelief when I say that I did my complete schooling, etc in India. Inevitably, the next question is, "Is that school amongst the best?" :P I don't know how they'll react when they actually get to India and realise that there are many more like me. I guess I should thank NPS for whatever it gave me, but more credit goes to my sister who made me practise and corrected my usage of the language - and she was at it ALL the time! :)

It's time to go and forage in my fridge for some dinner. I'll leave you with a trivia: The shade of foundation best suited to my skin tone is called Caramel Toffee ;)

A little less conversation, a little more action

2007-08-03T21:06:00.001+02:00

- I do solemnly declare that I shall blog more frequently henceforth -

Now that I have broken my silence, let me elaborate on my current life. This is strictly for those of you who keep checking on me regularly to see if I'm still alive!

I am in Geneva, working for a flavors and fragrances company - Firmenich. I had the induction session yesterday and I think I will like working here, for along with their success stories, they also mentioned their failures and lessons learnt. It takes courage for a corporation to say that to its new employees, and also shows the level of trust they have in us. I realise that I am not being chronologically correct, so let me start at the very beginning.

Once I realised that being at Nestlé wasn't doing much to my learning curve and growth path, I decided to go back to India - to some other project or job. This was around August 2006. My departure was agreed to be at the end of March 2007 and accordingly, I put my resumé out on all the usual portals. Just to see the job market in UK, I also put it up on Monster-UK. Along with the Indian offers, I was also called for European job openings. However, the fact that they would have to sponsor my work permit was a dampener for many companies - so much so that they didn't even proceed with the interviews.

And then, one fine day, about a month before my depature, I was contacted by a recruitment agent, R, who wanted to meet me about 2 openings, one each with competitors of same industry. The meeting had a funny incident associated with it. As you know, French is the first language in this part of Switzerland. R called me and fixed an appointment to meet at Lausanne on Thursday morning of the next week. I agreed and accordingly scheduled my meetings at office so that I was free on Thursday morning for the meeting with R. On Wednesday, I was rushing to get to office when I received a call from R, saying she was waiting for me at the agreed place!! For a moment, I was caught offguard. I thought I managed to commit a faux-pas by being tardy for the meeting which mattered. Hey! Wait a minute! It's Wednesday today! Now it was R's turn to be confused. Hehehe... Apparently, she mistook Thursday to mean Wednesday. Anyway, we met the next day and after listening to my experience, she told me frankly that the openings were for BW Dev experts and that my profile did not meet the requirement. Since I was not too keen to stay on away from home, this didn't hit me hard, though I requested her to convey to the clients that I was willing to be judged technically before being rejected based on my experience. We parted on good terms and I never expected anything positive to turn out from that meeting.

A week passed by before R mailed again - this time with an appointment arranged with one of the clients. I was asked to go to Geneva for the technical interview. On D-day, I jauntily set off, only to reach the wrong office (They have 3 offices in the area). During the hour long journey, I had worked myself into a bundle of nerves but all that was forgotten in the anxiety to reach the right place on time. I must have made an amusing sight - when I stumbled into the office, apologising profusely to O (one of the people who was going to interview me and who received me into the office). Thankfully, O turned out to be a very humourous guy and put me at ease within 5 minutes. As it turned out, the TL was off ill and joined us over the phone. And then the interview began. They asked me stuff and I replied honestly, knowing I had nothing to lose. When I didn't know something, I just said that plainly, without making a big fuss about it. I guess my confidence got through to them. After the interview, I went back to my life and the technicalities of packing my luggage to send home by cargo. With a week remaining for the take-off, I shot off a perfunctory mail to R, thanking her for her help and support and informing her that I would be leaving within a week. Did she receive any feedback concerning me, coz I would like to know areas where I can improve?

That mail set off a series of events. Apparently, the two guys were very impressed by my positive outlook and enthusiasm. They recognised that I didn't have much of a functional knowledge but that could be remedied by trainings. They had given a positive feedback to their HR, who, as HR is wont to do, sat on it for many days. When they realised that I would be leaving to India soon, they arranged another series of meetings - they called it "discussions". That was to take place 2 days before my take-off. So, I went trudging again. I thought it would get over in 2 hours and took permission to take off for 3-3.5 hours that afternoon. Little did I know that I was going to be there for the whole of the afternoon!

First, I had a "discussion" with the HR. During the middle of it, I realised that it was the "negotiation" that was going on. The day suddenly seemed very bright! :P After speaking to me for about 40 minutes, the lady said that the next person would meet me in another room in 20 minutes or so. Dutifully, I picked my bag up and went there. It was snowing on and off outside, and I spent my time standing at the window and looking out towards the Jura. Suddenly, I got called by a frantic Raj. He'd organised a farewell for me and didn't know why and where to I had disappeared. I was trying to calm him on the phone without revealing the purpose of my visit to Geneva, all the while finding the situation quite amusing. It was a pity that I couldn't make Raj see the humour...

While speaking to him, someone walked into the room. I gestured towards the phone and silently requested some time to finish the conversation. The person walked out with an understanding nod. I managed to end the conversation with Raj and walked towards the door. At the same time, the person peeped in to check if I was done. As he shook my hand and introduced himself as the VP of the project, I kicked myself a thousand times!! And Raj too!! Where there was some hope before, a cold certainty was taking hold. I wasn't gonna get this job, afterall. Strangely, I still didn't care. I think that was the best interview of my life!! I was spontanoeus, positive and confident - and looked undaunted by the fact that the VP of the project was taking my interview. You see? I was so certain that I wouldn't be selected. :) This guy seemed visibly impressed by my attitude towards the end of the interview!!

I had one other "discussion" which was not my very best - but by now, I hardly cared. I was then told to go home and another person, who couldn't find the time to meet me today, would call me the next day. I thanked O, who was showing me out and went back to Vevey. The next day, I received a call as promised but the person was only interested in knowing if I would stay on in the project, inspite of social pressures to get married and settle down! I assured him on that front and I was done! Oh yeah! One other thing I forgot to mention is that each of the person I met, made a big deal out of my age. According to them, I was too young to get this kind of experience. Lucky me, that they don't know the job scenario in India! :) In fact, the HR lady wasn't calculating one component of tax since she thought I was not yet 25! That really was the best compliment ever!!

Ok! So, I left from Switzerland soon after that. After being delayed by a stray snow-storm in March, I made it into the welcoming arms of my parents. I spent two weeks in Bhopal. Awesome! Then lots of things happened - I resigned, spent time at home with family. Dad got transferred back to Bangalore. Gran came to stay with us due to her ill health. She recovered. I got the offer from this company. It seemed like a good alternative, even though it meant leaving my parents again. Once again, my family proved itself as a champion by supporting me through this, and I found myself in Geneva again!

I've been here a month now. Work hasn't yet taken off and I've just shifted into my apartment. I'm taking french classes (Oui! C'est correct!) and some driving classes to get used to the rules here. I'm looking forward to this life. For the first time, I am in a new place, without any support structure in place. It is like making a new start in the literal sense and I promise to keep you posted. :)

Midnight Ramblings

2007-05-20T20:40:00.001+02:00

Have you ever read any of the message boards at Rediff's? No matter what the topic of discussion, invariably it all boils down to religion (particularly the hindu-muslim rife) and/or anti-Rediff posts. It is really curious to follow the thread of discussion from the movie review of a seemingly-innocent Disney movie to a full-blown war-cry over the message board between self-confessed religious fanatics. Do NOT ask me the connection between the two, coz I am as perplexed as you are.

What's the fuss with getting your most flattering photograph taken? I am particularly shy when I have to stand in front of the lens, and I can not understand the people who simper and smile their best smile once they are in focus. Digital photography was a God-sent for such people. I personally know some guys (and I include dudettes, too) who actually delete snaps which are not-so-flattering and then pose again (yes - in the same place and the same pose) for another go at it. Sigh!!!

It is well past midnight in India and before I get certified as an insomniac, I should turn off the lights (Nelly Furtado is amazing!) and get some sleep. The following days are going to be busy because I start the whole rigamarole of relocation, yet again, tomorrow. The secret will be out soon. Patience, my dear Watson!

PS: I discovered a song of Asha and SP Bala called "Chain aap ko mila". It is unbelievable!!

Blogthing!

2007-05-13T21:31:00.000+02:00

You Are a Good Girl

You are 70% Good and 30% Bad
Generally speaking, you're a very good girl.
(But you don't have us totally fooled!)

Are You a Good Girl or a Bad Girl?

Gaaaaah!

2007-04-20T11:54:00.001+02:00

10 massive rants as this point of time - each worth a blog of its own:
1. Why the fuss over the wedding of two average actors?
2. The time taken to travel within Bangalore has not changed - neither has noise pollution.
3. Just because I am leaving the company does not mean that I impart knowledge to half of the unit.
4. Managers continue to play games. Seeing them, my resolve to do an MBA wavers - I don't want to end up being like them.
5. Why isn't all the time spent with family enough? As I lie in bed, before falling asleep, I remember all those things I forgot to mention to them.
6. Why did God make lizards like He did? (I know this is silly, but I can't help it.)
7. It is amazing how priorities shift and the justifications that come along are worth every cent.
8. A conscience is the heaviest load to carry.
9. Why do I take huge risks? And when I do, why do I worry so much after that, till the results are in?
10. Politicians can always manage to string along the voters, and the voters never learn.

Au Revoir! Merci!

2007-03-17T18:41:00.001+01:00

Six more days to go - and I am curiously blank. Well, I confess I do feel relief for having packed my luggage to cargo home, get it down two floors (guess when the lift has to be repaired?) and to the post office. But nothing more than that. In case you're wondering what this all is about - I am leaving from Switzerland by next Friday (for now, that's all I can say).

Surely I will miss this place, this life - who won't? But there's nothing dramatic like when people rant and rave about leaving an onsite assignment to go back when they don't want to. I think I want to go back because that's the only place I feel I belong to. It's home - however insane and mad life can get there!

There are Indians who wanna stay away because of the money or because they are used to this life now. But the sad truth is that how much ever they convince themselves, they do not fit in completely into this society. They'll always be the foreigners here or the "immigrants". You can be as good as the next guy, professionally; and absorb their culture effortlessly - but I wish I could say more about how understanding they are towards us and our culture. India will always be a third-world country for them, where snake charmers and elephants are as commonplace as offshore development centres. One of them was also accounting to me the rodent problem he's heard his friend say exists in one of the offices offshore. Guess what? Two weeks back, there was a whole section of news devoted to rodent trouble in London. Ha!! And the fuss they create about Indian food!! Goodness gracious! The less said, the better!

Yes - I am glad to be going back. Period! :)

On the brink of a new year

2006-12-31T17:39:00.001+01:00

I have a poster I'd bought off the streets of Vijayanagar. It's called A Prayer and shows a pair of hands joined in the age-old symbol of obeisance. Every time I read the text, my restless mind is calmed. Today, on the eve of a new year, I'll share this prayer with you, dear Reader.

Let me do my Work each Day and if the darkened Hours of Despair overcome Me,

may I not forget the Strength that comforted Me in the Desolation of other Times

I came to Switzerland on work in the beginning of 2006. As the novelty of the new workplace and environment wore off, I realised the true sense of the word - homesick. With no close friends here, more often than not, I found myself strolling by the lake-side thinking about how not-so-perfect things were back home and how infitely I preferred the comfort and familiarity to this change. In the beginning, the more homesick I got, the more difficult it was for me to give it my best at work. This paragraph seemed so apt when I read it at the time.

May I still remember the bright Hours that found Me

walking over the silent Hills of my childhood

or dreaming on the Margin of the quiet River,

when a Light glowed within Me, and I promised my early God

to have courage amid the Tempests of the changing Years.

With no outward distractions, I began to find peace within myself - again. I re-discovered my state of mind before it got cluttered with all the stuff that was either painful or unnecessary. In retrospect, all that stuff was the side-effect of "growing up" which I could do without.

Spare me from Bitterness

and from the sharp Passions of unguarded Moments.

May I not forget that Poverty and Riches are of the Spirit.

As a normal human being, I too have my moments when I positively become an ogre. Impatience coupled with a volatile temper have been known to make me behave in a way I've regretted later. In 2006, I learnt to master my mind. Even when I've been tempted to lash out, I've held my peace. Of course, at some times, I did give in and had to seek forgiveness from those hapless people, who happened to be at the receiving end. I am still a student of life and I hope to overcome my faults soon.

Though the World knew me not, may my Thoughts and Actions be such

as shall keep me friendly with Myself.

The past year can be likened to a van-vaas of sorts. In keeping with my history, I haven't exactly made an effort to stay in touch with my friends and colleagues. Happily, hidden away from life as I knew it, I continued to discover more of myself and the people around me. I learnt that upbringing and values die hard. I learnt that respect and politeness go a long way.

Lift my eyes from the Earth, and let me not forget the Uses of the Stars.

Towards the latter half of the year, I broke free from inhibitions and set a quite high ambition for myself. I challenged myself to the limit and I won against myself - against my laziness, inertia, sleep and the nagging self-doubt. I emerged through it all with a new sense of self and pride. Now I know that it is not just enough to aim to be the best. You also have to aim to be better than the best.

Forbid that I should judge Others, lest I condemn Myself.

Let me not follow the Clamour of the World, but walk calmly in my Path.

The past year, I saw how people get to make their dreams come true - by changing events and circumstances to their favour. I've also seen hypocrites and double standards. I've seen people behaving in a strange way just to keep appearances. I don't condone it and now, I've learnt to not be affected by it either. I know what I want and I know I can trust it to be given to me if I am deserving enough. I believe in a higher justice and I know that when I decide to achieve my dreams, the whole universe will conspire to help me and all I should do is to continue working towards my destination with honesty and integrity.

Give me a few Friends who will love me for what I am,

and keep ever burning before my vagrant Steps the kindly Light of Hope;

This is one aspect of life I'll always be grateful for. My friends (particularly one - who I call my guardian angel) and family have always believed in me, even when I didn't. When I have been in the dumps, I can rely on these few people to help me overcome my negativity and make me smile. My sister, mother and father have been my best friends - less of disciplinarians, they have been my friends who have stuck it out with me through thick and thin. This year, I have realised the true value of my family and friends and also realised that they are not only a part of my identity, they also complete me. I can understand myself better by understanding them.

And though Age and Infirmity overtake me, and I come not within sight

of the Castle of my Dreams, teach me still to be thankful for Life,

and for Time's olden Memories that are good and sweet;

and may the Evening's Twilight find me gentle still.

This is the reality check. At the end, even when things don't turn out the way I expected, and I am feeling crushed, this paragraph lifts me and gives me hope. After all, life is a cruel teacher. But it still gives us experiences that we wouldn't wish to trade, given the chance. If you think about it, every "bad" experience makes us more receptive and thankful for the next good thing to happen to us. A person's constant struggle is to remain human even after something horrible. That's the ultimate test and I wish I will pass it with flying colours.

Cheers to 2006! I can't wait to see what 2007 brings for me! :)

Here I am! This is me!

2006-12-27T21:49:00.001+01:00

And thus it is finally over! Four months of non-continuous toil, sweat and blood (ok, not blood,but blood-rimmed eyes surely) - and I'll soon have that piece of paper in my hands. It will certify that I am indeed a Solution Consultant and SAP says so. :)

Before I go to bed, I have just another observation to make. It's not quite related to the purpose of this blog but it has been on my mind since yesterday. With the danger of sounding clichéd, I wonder why guys have to walk six feet ahead of the girl companion. If they are guests, why don't they offer to help in the kitchen instead of waiting to be served? The girl's not going to fall for them if they volunteer to cut an onion, for heaven's sake! Why do guys lose their manners (if they had any) as they grow older (than 22)? And why, oh why, do guys become silly and weird in the presence of a good looking lady? Well, it's official - I have lost all patience with guys (or "men" as they want to be called) and good luck to them!

Childhood delights

2006-09-18T20:48:00.001+02:00

Idling away a Sunday morning, I jotted down some vivid memories - among other things, thinking of childhood will always conjure up these images for me:

The hot roads on which little feet run as fast as they can while playing running-and-catching
The sing-song manner of hawkers' indistinguishable words on a lazy afternoon
The temper and tantrums before bath time
Standing near the handle bar of the Lambretta scooter when Daddy takes us out
Mummy making me a birthday dress
Buying chocolates for the class the night before my birthday
Smell of glue and crayons before the arts and crafts class
Going to school, proudly holding the paper windmill – convinced that mine is the best
Being able to charm the shopkeepers into giving me a Parle’s toffee for free
Taking many rides on the giant wheel at cubbon park
Being scrubbed dry and then forced to drink tea when we return home drenched in the rain
Being rocked on Baba’s knees
Reading stories of Mandrake, Phantom and Panchatantra
Trying to make sense of the civil bodies and political hierarchies in Social Studies
Waking up to Vande Mataram on Radio
Having oranges at Nagpur station on the way to UP in the summer holidays
Spending Sunday mornings watching animations
Singing along with Mogli (Neela samandar hai, aakash pyaazi; doobe na doobe na mera jahaazi)
Daadi’s lullaby
Playing lagori
Watching Oshin on TV and marvelling at the elaborate hair-do’s
The unexpected joy when one of the teachers is absent and we get “free period”
Tickle fights with Didi
Sharpened pencils
Finding clay in mounds of sand near construction sites
Playing in mounds of sand near construction sites
Shouting myself silly on seeing a lizard
Band-aids on skinned knees and elbows
Discovering the usefulness of a dictionary
Having paratha and kheer on Sunday mornings
Lots and lots of Maths homework
Diwali crackers – the pistol and red fort bombs
Mummy shielding my eyes when “bad” scenes came up in the movies
Discovering books and the delight of reading
Waiting for summer vacation
Following my sister everywhere after watching a horror movie

Expectations, Expectations!!

2006-08-26T18:26:00.001+02:00

My friend Sudhi has a blog. He often mentions about his "ideal" girl. :) As Lizzie Bennet would have said "She would be a scary sight to behold". Well, I'll confess Sudhi is not that bad with his expectations. However, it makes me think about this image that every person has about their partner. What that person likes, dislikes, behaves like... Ok! Another confession... I think about what my Mr. Right should be like, too. But don't you think that we are not being fair? We form this cast of the person we would like to be with and then try and mould people into the cast. If they don't fit, they are not The one. I am not objecting to expecting the minimum; it's just the delving into the details that troubles me. What will that person say in such-and-such a situation? Will she continue working after marriage? Will he propose to me in so-and-so manner?

Hmmm... I think it's more of a timepass to think about your partner (before meeting him/her obviously... actually, it IS a timepass, period!). No one knows when you start liking the quirks in a person and accept them. I have seen highly unlikely pairs - who have been perfect for each other. It's a lot about compromise, I guess. And a commitment to make it work. Cheers to all the happy couples and wishing the rest of us similar happiness! :)

Today, I amused myself! :)

2006-08-26T16:50:00.001+02:00

I woke up late, which is not unusual considering the fact that today is Saturday. After a nice long hot bath, I was getting ready to go out shopping for the basic weekly supplies. With a sense of repetition, I made myself some cornflakes and sat down to have breakfast while watching TV. I paused channel surfing at the movie "Deep Blue Sea". You see, I haven't watched this movie before, though I have a pretty good idea what it is about. Infact, I'd caught some scenes before.This time, I'd caught the scene where they are all in a state of panic and arguing about ideas to escape the place and the sharks. And then Samuel Jackson yells at them to stop fighting with each other and is giving them gyan about the better chances they have to get out of the place if they are united and BAM!!! I actually spilt the milk and chocos all over the floor with the magnitude of the start I gave when the shark comes out of that small outlet to the sea (almost like a small pool) and takes him down. (HOW was that possible in real life???)! As I was wiping up the mess, I was chuckling, imagining myself in the theatre, with popcorn, when this scene came up. :P