I saw the movie a few days ago. Even though the combination of the Victorian era and a love story transported me into my magical and romantic land, I was left feeling sad and hollow after the movie. Jane Austen wrote few of the best romantic stories of our times. Most girls and some boys have grown up with dreams of "the ideal one", who quite coincidentally resembles one of her characters. And she, herself, died a spinster. One line struck me as quite poignant: "My characters will have all what they desire".
I'm not so sure about the Mr. Lefroy angle and wonder if she had fallen in love with one of her characters and being an idealist, did not want to compromise with the reality of life... Did she feel the emptiness, loneliness and despair which she fleetingly touches in almost every story through one of the characters who is an "old maid"? Did she regret her decision to not marry without affection?
I imagine that this movie was one of the things I needed to "grow up", to understand that happy endings are, sometimes, limited to fairy tales and books.
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
The simple things of life
She needed a coffee. It was 10:30 pm and she'd been at work for sixteen long hours already. Ami, her daughter, would be sixteen this fall. She must find something to make her sweet-sixteenth special. Funny, she thought, the way thoughts fly into a tangent. She could feel her muscles protesting as she stretched herself before standing. As she made her way to the coffee-machine (a life-saver, in times like these), she could see that most of the team had left for the day. The few people remaining at work were there not because of the passion they felt for their work, but since they would have to answer their bosses tomorrow. A grim smile etched onto her tired face. She was different from them. As the tablet vanished into the machine, her thoughts flew to her life 5-10 years ago...
Life had a familiar and reassuring routine, then. She had her hands full with her growing kids, a perpetually busy husband and a home. She had long since found her happiness in seeing the people she loved grow and prosper. She knew she was the backbone of the family, though often the credit wasn't given to her so eloquently. She was happy, then. She was as sure of it as she was of the heat of the coffee finding it's way into her numb senses. And then, things changed. She couldn't put her finger on the exact moment when she realised that there was no zing in her life anymore. It had started with little things. Amit had pleaded fatigue on their anniversary to sleep early, and now their anniversary came and went without anyone realising it. Rohan and Ami had announced that they could do their homework without her help. Her only fault was that she allowed them to take her for granted, she thought bitterly. As was usual, when she thought of what could have been, her eyes became moist.
Sitting back at her flickering monitor, she shrugged subconsciously. She still remembered the uncomprehending shock when she announced she joined the firm she used to work for before. With dry amusement, she remembered the first few days when her family had to get used to her not being there - the laundry, the house-help, .... Every little thing she'd taken care of and no one noticed - now, tasks were being assigned to smouldering eyes and short tempers. It had happened slowly, but they all soon fell into another kind of routine. Her shrink said her family tried to push her away with vehemence because they thought she had done the same to them when she chose to work again. That was one way of looking at things, she thought drily.
As she immersed herself into her work again, memories came unbidden to the forefront. She thought of the time she was in a meeting when she received a message that Rohan had received an injury during a football match. She had practically flown to him. The relief in his eyes when he awoke from anaesthesia and saw her by his bedside, though he'd always been Daddy's boy... Ami - sweet and rebellious Ami - she had confided in her mum about her first crush. A tender smile played on her lips as she remembered all the boys in Ami's life since that time. Ami always looked to her for an opinion, she realised. With growing wonder, she remembered Ami's friends also approaching her with awkward questions they should've asked their moms. She frowned, puzzled, as her hand hovered over the keyboard. She was proud of her children, as any mom would be. And now, she was at the brink of the realisation that they were proud of her too. All the books on parenting didn't see this one coming! It made her speechless, choked up and bubbling with joy, at the same time.
As she picked up her purse and keys to go home, as was her habit, she turned to look if she'd left something on the table. The neon hands of the clock coincided on the number 12 just as her phone rang. It was Amit. Hoping that he wouldn't start on her case (she REALLY was tired), she received his call. "Where are you??" "Uh... I'm on my way." "Where exactly?? Do you know what time it is??" Damn! Damn! Where were the car keys? "Yes... You can sleep, you know. I have the extra key, I got from the locksmith, today. I'll be there in 20 minutes. Sorry! It got late today!" "Are you kidding me?? Look around! I'm parked right behind your car. Couldn't have you driving on these roads bleary-eyed with sleep..." There he was, indeed. Amit in his Bugs-Bunny PJs and his windswept salt-and-pepper hair. As he kissed her lightly on the forehead, ushering her into the passenger seat, she realised the magic of his touch was never lost on her - even after all these years. All the fights and tears over things as silly as a forgotten anniversary would be instantly forgotten when they "kissed and made up" - as their friends termed it.
As she snuggled into his shoulder on the way home, she thought of all the things her family had done for her. They gave up on conventionalism to be with her, to keep pace with her, to let her achieve her desires and dreams. Surely, she could do the same for them. Grand gestures do make grand moments in life. But it is the little gestures that make life worthwhile. And today, this simple truth was crystal clear.
Life had a familiar and reassuring routine, then. She had her hands full with her growing kids, a perpetually busy husband and a home. She had long since found her happiness in seeing the people she loved grow and prosper. She knew she was the backbone of the family, though often the credit wasn't given to her so eloquently. She was happy, then. She was as sure of it as she was of the heat of the coffee finding it's way into her numb senses. And then, things changed. She couldn't put her finger on the exact moment when she realised that there was no zing in her life anymore. It had started with little things. Amit had pleaded fatigue on their anniversary to sleep early, and now their anniversary came and went without anyone realising it. Rohan and Ami had announced that they could do their homework without her help. Her only fault was that she allowed them to take her for granted, she thought bitterly. As was usual, when she thought of what could have been, her eyes became moist.
Sitting back at her flickering monitor, she shrugged subconsciously. She still remembered the uncomprehending shock when she announced she joined the firm she used to work for before. With dry amusement, she remembered the first few days when her family had to get used to her not being there - the laundry, the house-help, .... Every little thing she'd taken care of and no one noticed - now, tasks were being assigned to smouldering eyes and short tempers. It had happened slowly, but they all soon fell into another kind of routine. Her shrink said her family tried to push her away with vehemence because they thought she had done the same to them when she chose to work again. That was one way of looking at things, she thought drily.
As she immersed herself into her work again, memories came unbidden to the forefront. She thought of the time she was in a meeting when she received a message that Rohan had received an injury during a football match. She had practically flown to him. The relief in his eyes when he awoke from anaesthesia and saw her by his bedside, though he'd always been Daddy's boy... Ami - sweet and rebellious Ami - she had confided in her mum about her first crush. A tender smile played on her lips as she remembered all the boys in Ami's life since that time. Ami always looked to her for an opinion, she realised. With growing wonder, she remembered Ami's friends also approaching her with awkward questions they should've asked their moms. She frowned, puzzled, as her hand hovered over the keyboard. She was proud of her children, as any mom would be. And now, she was at the brink of the realisation that they were proud of her too. All the books on parenting didn't see this one coming! It made her speechless, choked up and bubbling with joy, at the same time.
As she picked up her purse and keys to go home, as was her habit, she turned to look if she'd left something on the table. The neon hands of the clock coincided on the number 12 just as her phone rang. It was Amit. Hoping that he wouldn't start on her case (she REALLY was tired), she received his call. "Where are you??" "Uh... I'm on my way." "Where exactly?? Do you know what time it is??" Damn! Damn! Where were the car keys? "Yes... You can sleep, you know. I have the extra key, I got from the locksmith, today. I'll be there in 20 minutes. Sorry! It got late today!" "Are you kidding me?? Look around! I'm parked right behind your car. Couldn't have you driving on these roads bleary-eyed with sleep..." There he was, indeed. Amit in his Bugs-Bunny PJs and his windswept salt-and-pepper hair. As he kissed her lightly on the forehead, ushering her into the passenger seat, she realised the magic of his touch was never lost on her - even after all these years. All the fights and tears over things as silly as a forgotten anniversary would be instantly forgotten when they "kissed and made up" - as their friends termed it.
As she snuggled into his shoulder on the way home, she thought of all the things her family had done for her. They gave up on conventionalism to be with her, to keep pace with her, to let her achieve her desires and dreams. Surely, she could do the same for them. Grand gestures do make grand moments in life. But it is the little gestures that make life worthwhile. And today, this simple truth was crystal clear.
Saturday, September 15, 2007
Oops! She did it again!
I've been keeping up with the latest furore in India - the controversial affidavits filed by the government and the ASI, justifying the destruction of Ram Sethu by denying the historical proof of the existence of Ram. Those of you who know me, know that I am not a *very* religious person. Most claim to my religious knowledge is stemmed from a rather painful and unfortunate chapter of my life. I also, usually, stay clear of topics that evoke passions of a destructive kind. My approach to such quandaries is to wait until I can think clearly and objectively again, without letting my passion cloud my sensibility. However, I can not shrug off this base attempt by the "secular" government as trying to maintain my (for the lack of an appropriate word) neutrality towards all faiths.
If destroying the coral reefs and a world heritage site does not weigh much on the minds of the powers-that-are, how can they be blind to the fact that Ram Sethu or Adam's Bridge holds major religious connotations for atleast 3 major religions - Hinduism, Islam and Christianity? I know that many of the Indian Muslim and Christian community will not voice their indignation vociferously - trying to maintain their religious integrity by not raising the same arguments which might even benefit the Hindus (I am not being communal here - just stating the current scenario in a very confused India). However, I think it is high time for the public to realise that they should not, must not and can not let people (who don't understand their culture and history) strike a blow at their identity and get away with it. The Indian sub-continent has had more than it's fair share of such atrocities already. There is much truth in the oft-repeated adage - Unity in Diversity - though it is sad to say that 60 years after a hard-won Independence, the children of a great nation seem to have forgotten the basics.
As history repeats itself (as it is wont to do from time to time) and we have a nation crying foul over the ill-advised deed that the "mea culpa" government has done yet again, we also have a substantial number of people satisfied and pacified to see that their sentiments are shared by the one person they thought would never have understood them. After all, isn't she a European by birth and a Christian by religion? (Alright, alright! She's as Indian as an NRI is, say, American!). They fail to realise that she, who's adopted their country as we are told innumerable times, has understood them only too well. She knows exactly how an Indian mind ticks and she's smart enough to capitalise on it. By appearing to join the mass (forgive the pun) in condemning the government, she has almost succeeded in winning the good-will of the multitudes who will soon be deciding on the next premier of the nation. She knows that Indians (especially the Hindu majority) are a easily consolable crowd - they forgive easily and they are more than willing to consider you in a new light in presence of more recent happenings. She had most of the nation eating out of her hand after her "earth-shattering" decision after the previous elections. It appears to me that she has tried to re-create her magic yet again. Whether she has actually succeeded remains to be seen. Before you write me off as a Congress-hater, etc etc, please stop to think - Is it not stretching it too far to claim that the head of the Congress party, who vicariously runs the show at New Delhi, would have no prior knowledge of the affidavits that have something to do with one of the current government's major and controversial projects?? Also, the utter blasé nature of language used in the affidavits is highly suspicious. Surely, the "Yes, Ministers" harnessed to the tax-payers' burdens would be qualified enough to know exactly what should be written in a diplomatic manner to cause least offense - even if they believe it to be correct?
The passion of my countrymen are easily roused. We are a country of sentimental and emotional fools (Why do you think Bollywood is such a successful industry here?). Owing to this particular trait, we have had a history splattered with bloody wars, violence and now, in the more civilised age, demonstrations and riots. But as time has passed, Indians have acquired a remarkably short memory. I am not sure if it was required to forget the past difficulties and focus on the more immediate concern of survival of oneself and one's loved ones. I understand the competitive levels in India are very high, but the fact remains that now most of the Indian public ("the common man") has a memory span to compete with a goldfish. "Out of sight, out of mind". Even as I break my golden rule to write on this topic impulsively, I fear that it will remain in the headlines for just another few days. Then, there will be yet another distraction and the news channels will scramble all over each other to cover the latest "sensational" news, while off the Eastern coast of India, in a very unassuming location, the dredging will continue, slowly and surely, breaking off the ties that the Indian people have had with history/ mythology/ identity. Take your pick - it will amount to the same thing in the end.
If destroying the coral reefs and a world heritage site does not weigh much on the minds of the powers-that-are, how can they be blind to the fact that Ram Sethu or Adam's Bridge holds major religious connotations for atleast 3 major religions - Hinduism, Islam and Christianity? I know that many of the Indian Muslim and Christian community will not voice their indignation vociferously - trying to maintain their religious integrity by not raising the same arguments which might even benefit the Hindus (I am not being communal here - just stating the current scenario in a very confused India). However, I think it is high time for the public to realise that they should not, must not and can not let people (who don't understand their culture and history) strike a blow at their identity and get away with it. The Indian sub-continent has had more than it's fair share of such atrocities already. There is much truth in the oft-repeated adage - Unity in Diversity - though it is sad to say that 60 years after a hard-won Independence, the children of a great nation seem to have forgotten the basics.
As history repeats itself (as it is wont to do from time to time) and we have a nation crying foul over the ill-advised deed that the "mea culpa" government has done yet again, we also have a substantial number of people satisfied and pacified to see that their sentiments are shared by the one person they thought would never have understood them. After all, isn't she a European by birth and a Christian by religion? (Alright, alright! She's as Indian as an NRI is, say, American!). They fail to realise that she, who's adopted their country as we are told innumerable times, has understood them only too well. She knows exactly how an Indian mind ticks and she's smart enough to capitalise on it. By appearing to join the mass (forgive the pun) in condemning the government, she has almost succeeded in winning the good-will of the multitudes who will soon be deciding on the next premier of the nation. She knows that Indians (especially the Hindu majority) are a easily consolable crowd - they forgive easily and they are more than willing to consider you in a new light in presence of more recent happenings. She had most of the nation eating out of her hand after her "earth-shattering" decision after the previous elections. It appears to me that she has tried to re-create her magic yet again. Whether she has actually succeeded remains to be seen. Before you write me off as a Congress-hater, etc etc, please stop to think - Is it not stretching it too far to claim that the head of the Congress party, who vicariously runs the show at New Delhi, would have no prior knowledge of the affidavits that have something to do with one of the current government's major and controversial projects?? Also, the utter blasé nature of language used in the affidavits is highly suspicious. Surely, the "Yes, Ministers" harnessed to the tax-payers' burdens would be qualified enough to know exactly what should be written in a diplomatic manner to cause least offense - even if they believe it to be correct?
The passion of my countrymen are easily roused. We are a country of sentimental and emotional fools (Why do you think Bollywood is such a successful industry here?). Owing to this particular trait, we have had a history splattered with bloody wars, violence and now, in the more civilised age, demonstrations and riots. But as time has passed, Indians have acquired a remarkably short memory. I am not sure if it was required to forget the past difficulties and focus on the more immediate concern of survival of oneself and one's loved ones. I understand the competitive levels in India are very high, but the fact remains that now most of the Indian public ("the common man") has a memory span to compete with a goldfish. "Out of sight, out of mind". Even as I break my golden rule to write on this topic impulsively, I fear that it will remain in the headlines for just another few days. Then, there will be yet another distraction and the news channels will scramble all over each other to cover the latest "sensational" news, while off the Eastern coast of India, in a very unassuming location, the dredging will continue, slowly and surely, breaking off the ties that the Indian people have had with history/ mythology/ identity. Take your pick - it will amount to the same thing in the end.
Thursday, September 06, 2007
First Impressions
Why is it that men - young and old - rush to declare their social status to me? And No! I don't look that desperate! Seriously! I just need to have a conversation with someone twice and I'll know all about it - whether they are married, whether their wife stays with them, how many children they have, etc. The puzzling thing is that I don't seek this information at all. I would be having a completely innocent, work-related conversation and in the pauses, these tidbits are thrown my way. Interestingly, the single men also have this annoying habit, even though they appear to forget to provide any information about their girlfriends or fiancée. Do the men think that it is their duty to warn a single colleague about her chances? :P It's as amusing as it is irritating!
Hmm... Work's begun and it is hectic. I hope I haven't bitten off more than I can chew. With work, french classes and gym (yes, a soon-to-be-reality), I think I am going to be kept on my toes in Geneva.
People, here, are often surprised that I speak such fluent English without a trace of an "Indian" accent(?). Hence, apart from the usual questions of "Are you Spanish or Mexican?" (I'll attribute that to my hair colour) and "Vous parlez Espanöl?", I am now getting used to "Have you ever stayed in UK? Probably studied there?" There is a genuine look of disbelief when I say that I did my complete schooling, etc in India. Inevitably, the next question is, "Is that school amongst the best?" :P I don't know how they'll react when they actually get to India and realise that there are many more like me. I guess I should thank NPS for whatever it gave me, but more credit goes to my sister who made me practise and corrected my usage of the language - and she was at it ALL the time! :)
It's time to go and forage in my fridge for some dinner. I'll leave you with a trivia: The shade of foundation best suited to my skin tone is called Caramel Toffee ;)
Hmm... Work's begun and it is hectic. I hope I haven't bitten off more than I can chew. With work, french classes and gym (yes, a soon-to-be-reality), I think I am going to be kept on my toes in Geneva.
People, here, are often surprised that I speak such fluent English without a trace of an "Indian" accent(?). Hence, apart from the usual questions of "Are you Spanish or Mexican?" (I'll attribute that to my hair colour) and "Vous parlez Espanöl?", I am now getting used to "Have you ever stayed in UK? Probably studied there?" There is a genuine look of disbelief when I say that I did my complete schooling, etc in India. Inevitably, the next question is, "Is that school amongst the best?" :P I don't know how they'll react when they actually get to India and realise that there are many more like me. I guess I should thank NPS for whatever it gave me, but more credit goes to my sister who made me practise and corrected my usage of the language - and she was at it ALL the time! :)
It's time to go and forage in my fridge for some dinner. I'll leave you with a trivia: The shade of foundation best suited to my skin tone is called Caramel Toffee ;)
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