She needed a coffee. It was 10:30 pm and she'd been at work for sixteen long hours already. Ami, her daughter, would be sixteen this fall. She must find something to make her sweet-sixteenth special. Funny, she thought, the way thoughts fly into a tangent. She could feel her muscles protesting as she stretched herself before standing. As she made her way to the coffee-machine (a life-saver, in times like these), she could see that most of the team had left for the day. The few people remaining at work were there not because of the passion they felt for their work, but since they would have to answer their bosses tomorrow. A grim smile etched onto her tired face. She was different from them. As the tablet vanished into the machine, her thoughts flew to her life 5-10 years ago...
Life had a familiar and reassuring routine, then. She had her hands full with her growing kids, a perpetually busy husband and a home. She had long since found her happiness in seeing the people she loved grow and prosper. She knew she was the backbone of the family, though often the credit wasn't given to her so eloquently. She was happy, then. She was as sure of it as she was of the heat of the coffee finding it's way into her numb senses. And then, things changed. She couldn't put her finger on the exact moment when she realised that there was no zing in her life anymore. It had started with little things. Amit had pleaded fatigue on their anniversary to sleep early, and now their anniversary came and went without anyone realising it. Rohan and Ami had announced that they could do their homework without her help. Her only fault was that she allowed them to take her for granted, she thought bitterly. As was usual, when she thought of what could have been, her eyes became moist.
Sitting back at her flickering monitor, she shrugged subconsciously. She still remembered the uncomprehending shock when she announced she joined the firm she used to work for before. With dry amusement, she remembered the first few days when her family had to get used to her not being there - the laundry, the house-help, .... Every little thing she'd taken care of and no one noticed - now, tasks were being assigned to smouldering eyes and short tempers. It had happened slowly, but they all soon fell into another kind of routine. Her shrink said her family tried to push her away with vehemence because they thought she had done the same to them when she chose to work again. That was one way of looking at things, she thought drily.
As she immersed herself into her work again, memories came unbidden to the forefront. She thought of the time she was in a meeting when she received a message that Rohan had received an injury during a football match. She had practically flown to him. The relief in his eyes when he awoke from anaesthesia and saw her by his bedside, though he'd always been Daddy's boy... Ami - sweet and rebellious Ami - she had confided in her mum about her first crush. A tender smile played on her lips as she remembered all the boys in Ami's life since that time. Ami always looked to her for an opinion, she realised. With growing wonder, she remembered Ami's friends also approaching her with awkward questions they should've asked their moms. She frowned, puzzled, as her hand hovered over the keyboard. She was proud of her children, as any mom would be. And now, she was at the brink of the realisation that they were proud of her too. All the books on parenting didn't see this one coming! It made her speechless, choked up and bubbling with joy, at the same time.
As she picked up her purse and keys to go home, as was her habit, she turned to look if she'd left something on the table. The neon hands of the clock coincided on the number 12 just as her phone rang. It was Amit. Hoping that he wouldn't start on her case (she REALLY was tired), she received his call. "Where are you??" "Uh... I'm on my way." "Where exactly?? Do you know what time it is??" Damn! Damn! Where were the car keys? "Yes... You can sleep, you know. I have the extra key, I got from the locksmith, today. I'll be there in 20 minutes. Sorry! It got late today!" "Are you kidding me?? Look around! I'm parked right behind your car. Couldn't have you driving on these roads bleary-eyed with sleep..." There he was, indeed. Amit in his Bugs-Bunny PJs and his windswept salt-and-pepper hair. As he kissed her lightly on the forehead, ushering her into the passenger seat, she realised the magic of his touch was never lost on her - even after all these years. All the fights and tears over things as silly as a forgotten anniversary would be instantly forgotten when they "kissed and made up" - as their friends termed it.
As she snuggled into his shoulder on the way home, she thought of all the things her family had done for her. They gave up on conventionalism to be with her, to keep pace with her, to let her achieve her desires and dreams. Surely, she could do the same for them. Grand gestures do make grand moments in life. But it is the little gestures that make life worthwhile. And today, this simple truth was crystal clear.
