Misadventures of a Dreamer

It's been a while since I had shared my first experience of the arranged marriage circuit, and I have only grown wiser since then. Mind you, not older - I have decided to remain the beautifully optimistic age of 22 until I resemble that spunky old lady in Madagascar (the movie, not the country).

I have met other EBs (Eligible Bachelors, for the uninitiated) and although the encounters have not resulted in murder, I have become acquainted with the fact that I can experience blood-boiling, face-reddening rage and still speak as calmly as if commenting on the weather. Besides the point that these encounters would not have been very encouraging to my ever-plodding heart, I have learnt many "life's lessons", which I will freely share ;) with girls who can empathise with me:
1. Do not take shit from a stranger. That is definitely not the right time to be polite or to be stunned into silence.
2. It's not in your best interests to watch a Disney movie at this phase of life. :) Those just raise your expectations before painful reality strikes.
3. It's alright to be a little demanding, but be considerate and be real.
4. It's fine to not let first impressions be the last ones - the EB is as nervous / awkward / disillusioned as you are.
5. There are times when you may realise some aspect about yourself which isn't what Mother Teresa would have approved of - but even then, it's ok. You are normal, after all.
6. This would be the most personal decision of your life, but you may still have to seek advise from family and friends, sometimes.
7. Laugh about your weird experiences with friends while keeping identities of the other (more often than not, psycho) parties confidential - it'll help keep it all real.
8. Spend some time by yourself.
9. Go out and enjoy. Continue living your life the way you want to. Nothing and nobody should change that.
10. And finally, you are not the only one who has faced this - Never succumb to the overwhelming despair of "Why me?"

Seene mein jalan, aankhon mein toofan sa kyun hai

This song came to my mind today while reading news reports of two women rescued from self-imposed solitary confinement. While that story took a sordid turn with one of them succumbing, I had to admit the irony of our modern lives. Inspite of each of us being virtually connected to a huge bunch of people, how many of them do we really 'know' as friends? In a land where just a few days ago, social media was instrumental in getting people together for a cause, some people are withering away unnoticed in a little nook. With ways and means to communicate better, are we forgetting the basics of showing that we care without using those words explicitly? The amount of "space" given to another person has to be judged constantly if you really care. I don't mean that you stalk a person, but if your acquaintance/friend hasn't been seen or been in touch, and this is unnatural behaviour, please lay your ego aside and reach out. You might just be the straw that they were grasping at.

I have seen how my parents connect with people they come across in their lives - house-helps, the laundry guy, neighbours. Even without formal studies, most people are aware about how loneliness can affect people, how the thought that "no one would be interested" can mushroom into complicated psychological behaviour and depression, which then can have repercussions on not only the individual, but also on the society. Yet, I confess, that I barely make the effort. However, I am going to try and remedy this aspect about me. How about you? Go on and say hello to your neighbour.




Translation of the amazing song by Akhlaq Mohammed Khan 'Shahryar':

Fire in the chest, storm in the eyes; why is it like that?
In this city, every person is distressed; why is it like that?

If there's a heart, one will have to search for an excuse for it to beat
Otherwise, it is left lifeless like a stone; why is it like that?

What abode of loneliness is this, friends?
Why is there only desert as far as the eye can see?

Is there something new noticeable within me?
Why is the mirror shocked upon seeing me?

Sleepless

Yes, it's 3 am... and it feels like i have had filter coffee. I don't know why I have these bouts of insomnia but while I am at it, I decided to blog - for once. Since it is the best time for disjointed thoughts to waltz in the limelight before fading away for ever, here goes an attempt to just pen them down as they come:
1. Bollywood hasn't gotten too far from 'chutki bhar sindoor' to 'sau gram zindagi'... wonder what's the deal here...
2. Mosquitoes are never safer anywhere else than between my palms.
3. It's interesting to see "Donny Duck" and "Minna Mouse" make an entry into the life of a 2 year old. The joys of animation will never cease!
4. How do people manage to stay detached from things? I think life is just too vibrant for that kind of an emotion to linger.
5. OELD refers to pronunciation of words in a British accent as "English" and in an American accent as "American". So there!
6. What has happened to the lyrics of Bollywood songs these days? Some kind of a colloquial implosion has taken place in Bollywood?
7. Some days are made to do nothing at all.
8. Some times distances can be good. But just try telling it to people in Mumbai at your own risk.
9. 3:30 am is actually a very happening time.
10. Sometimes arranging a cupboard is just that. Stop psycho-analysing me!