It's been a while since I had shared my first experience of the arranged marriage circuit, and I have only grown wiser since then. Mind you, not older - I have decided to remain the beautifully optimistic age of 22 until I resemble that spunky old lady in Madagascar (the movie, not the country).
I have met other EBs (Eligible Bachelors, for the uninitiated) and although the encounters have not resulted in murder, I have become acquainted with the fact that I can experience blood-boiling, face-reddening rage and still speak as calmly as if commenting on the weather. Besides the point that these encounters would not have been very encouraging to my ever-plodding heart, I have learnt many "life's lessons", which I will freely share ;) with girls who can empathise with me:
1. Do not take shit from a stranger. That is definitely not the right time to be polite or to be stunned into silence.
2. It's not in your best interests to watch a Disney movie at this phase of life. :) Those just raise your expectations before painful reality strikes.
3. It's alright to be a little demanding, but be considerate and be real.
4. It's fine to not let first impressions be the last ones - the EB is as nervous / awkward / disillusioned as you are.
5. There are times when you may realise some aspect about yourself which isn't what Mother Teresa would have approved of - but even then, it's ok. You are normal, after all.
6. This would be the most personal decision of your life, but you may still have to seek advise from family and friends, sometimes.
7. Laugh about your weird experiences with friends while keeping identities of the other (more often than not, psycho) parties confidential - it'll help keep it all real.
8. Spend some time by yourself.
9. Go out and enjoy. Continue living your life the way you want to. Nothing and nobody should change that.
10. And finally, you are not the only one who has faced this - Never succumb to the overwhelming despair of "Why me?"
6 comments:
So the coffee went cold this time.. Meet in a temple for a change next time..
that would add to the pressure, don't you think?
hmmmm...you can just walk and talk around casually amidst the people...sitting face 2 face in a coffee table is more pressure i think...
Its funny how marriages have so much in common with vacations. You enjoy planning it rather than doing it.
KP, stop the griping and enjoy the experience. I am optimistic enough to think that one day you'll cherish these memories - incidentally, just like vacations :D
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